It doesn't matter what we think, it matters what we do.

I am fascinated by our minds, specifically by what A Course In Miracles refers to as the EGO, also known as our fear based thinking. We all experience this fear based thinking, whether it be from time to time or on a regular basis. How often it comes up and how much power it holds over us directly depends on the strength of our spiritual connection, and the strength of our spiritual connection depends on the action we take on a daily basis to nurture and maintain it. Fear based thinking, can be quite uncomfortable but it presents us with the opportunity for major growth. I have learned, that it is absolutely possible to change your thoughts from fear to love. What we need to do is take ACTION.

I am going to get really raw and vulnerable here, which is so uncomfortable for me, but I share this especially for my girls (and guys) who are wondering how to shut that pesky voice of their egos up, how to choose differently, how to live from a place of LOVE.  I share this in the hopes that you'll relate and that you may draw some hope from my experience. Please know that if I can learn to act my way into right thinking, we all can.

Here we go:

I like a boy. (side note: I am so embarrassed writing this, already!!! Ahhhh!)

The fact that I like this man is a good thing. It's beautiful. It lets me know that I am ALIVE! No matter what happens, it will be a beautiful experience given to me by God Himself. This is what I know to be true.

However, to my ego, this is a threat. This is a reason to bring up every single fear inside of me and try to convince me that those fears are real.  My ego says that I am not good enough. My ego says I am not smart enough. My ego also says that he does not like me back. These fears are irrational and false and I know this, however that does not stop my ego from desperately trying to wreak havoc on my life. 

I am grateful for the spiritual work that I have done in my life thus far, so I can CLEARLY determine that these feelings aren't facts. I also recognize that some of you may not be in a spiritually centered place right now, as it took me a while to get here and to become okay with being a peaceful observer of my thoughts. If you're struggling and you believe that your fear based thinking is real, it's important to face those fears and get to the root cause. Write out a list of your fears and be present with them, determine where they come from and know that they cannot hurt you in this moment. When we acknowledge our fears, they no longer have any power over us. After you cultivate the awareness, write about how you can choose to see LOVE instead of fear in these situations. Then once you've written all about your fear and the ways in which you can choose to see love instead, affirming that LOVE really helps to cultivate the belief. Try this affirmation. "I choose to see things differently. I choose to see LOVE instead"

Because my ego decided to go on a rampage as a result of my liking said boy, I was being tempted to A) reach out to OTHER men for validation (EW!) and B) binge eat all the food in my apartment (DOUBLE EW!!).

It pains me to admit that my brain went there, but what eases that pain is KNOWING that my EGO is NOT my TRUE SELF.  It really doesn't matter what we think, it matters what we DO!

We are powerless over the thoughts of our ego, but we are not powerless over what we choose to do with them.

So I surrendered, laughed at my ego and went for a walk :)

I am so proud and I CELEBRATE myself today for the above noted actions!!!! I can clearly FEEL the POSITIVE effects of my decisions last night and I FEEL FANTASTIC! I love myself more today as a result :)

It is important to note that although I chose not to act out, for a few minutes I was VERY uncomfortable and I wanted to. The EGO is POWERFUL and that's why our SPIRITUAL PRACTICES need to be even MORE POWERFUL so we can COMBAT that pesky EGO. I maintain MY spiritual practice with DAILY prayer and meditation, an attitude of gratitude, constant surrender (as often as needed), HONEST communication with others, healthy eating, exercise, spiritual readings and writing in my journal, but your spiritual practice can be whatever feels right for you!! Those are just some awesome tools that I choose to use :)

A Course In Miracles states that a miracle is a shift in our perception from FEAR to LOVE. How AMAZING. We can experience miracles DAILY! I am so grateful for the miracles that occur in my life as a result of my actions :)

We ACT our way into RIGHT THINKING. Not the other way around. So, yes, the fear is present, but when I choose to ACT in accordance with LOVE, that LOVE will prevail!

I love you all very much, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I encourage you to take what resonates with you and leave the rest.

Here's to LOVE :)

Love always,

Kylie

How to experience joy

Joy is defined as: "a feeling of great pleasure and happiness"

Isn't that what we all want?? Great pleasure and happiness? Of course!! How do we experience this? And is it possible to live in a perpetual state of joy? Of course!! The issue we must first tackle is the voice of fear inside our heads. That voice that tells us we are not good enough, not smart enough, not experienced enough, etc....The voice of fear in my head tells me that I can't write because I don't have anything NEW to say, that I've said it all before. The truth is living a spiritual life is very simple. There aren't a million and one rules that need to be followed in order to experience the ultimate joy. All we have to do is lovingly be here now. And take action in the direction of our dreams.

I was watching an interview on OWN with Oprah and Deepak Chopra last night, and Deepak stated that the single most valuble lesson that he has learned over his 40+ year spiritual career is to be here now. He then went on to say that the person that is in front of you in this very moment is the most important person in your life and the best way you can plan for your future is to be present in this moment and everything will fall into place.

Amazing!

So, although I already knew that it is of the utmost importance to stay present, hearing it AGAIN, in a slighly different way really helped me.

Then I got to thinking, why do I allow my fear to tell me that I've already shared all I need to share on the topic of living a spiritually fit life? If I can be totally moved by hearing something I've heard a million times, surely my writing may help someone too, whether they've heard it before or not. We are all here to share our unique talents and gifts with the world - to serve others in the way that we know how. We are here to do the things we feel passionate about, and by staying present and grounded in this moment, I am able to hear my intuition speaking to me and by listening to my intuition and taking action, I am able to experience joy.

Life is all about the action. We must take action in the direction of our dreams. I can't just sit around and hope to have a successful spiritual business by doing nothing. So here I am, taking action in this moment towards my dreams and I feel pure bliss!

I am so grateful to always be a happy learner and to me, gratitude is an action word! I am learning how to embrace my imperfections and I am also learning how to embrace the parts of myself that I think are really awesome! By writing about my experience, I am putting my gratitude into action! When I am staying true to myself and expressing my authenticity without fear of being judged - I experience joy and I am able to help others, through helping others I help myself and when I am helping myself, I am more open and receptive to love and to BE LOVED.

Be. Here. Now.

I challenge you today, in whatever you are doing, to be fully present in that task, trust that it is exactly where you're supposed to be and trust that every single person we encounter in our day is part of God's plan for us.

Remembering that allows me to be kind and loving.

If my heart is closed and I am living in the past or the future, I am cutting off my connection to the Divine order of this life.

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart,
I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains,
I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel"

- Maya Angelou

If you catch yourself living in the past or obsessing about the future, stop what you're doing and take 5 DEEP breaths, in through your nose and our through your mouth. You'll be surprised at how effective this is! I know I was. Focusing on the breath will bring you back to the present moment where all is well and you are Love. Some days you may have to practice grounding yourself quite often, do not be discouraged. It's all part of the learning experience and it's worth it - trust me. 

Sending light and love,

Kylie

Too busy?

First of all, I need to thank my friend, Rebecca, for inspiring me to write this blog today. I have been thinking about writing a lot lately - this morning I finally prayed for the willingness, and go figure, God gave me exactly what I needed :) Thank you!!

I often find myself saying that I am too busy to write (and it is obviously very easy for me to buy into that) I am also too busy to read, I am too busy to meditate, I am even too busy to pray....what's interesting is that writing, reading, meditating and praying are all things that I REALLY enjoy doing and all of these things make my life significantly better! Why then, does my mind try and talk me out of doing said things?

One word: EGO.

The ego mind.

I define my 'ego' as the part of my brain that wants to edge God out. It is the part of my brain that is stuck in fear. That fear based thinking comes from what I have learned here on earth, it is all of my deep rooted beliefs, the nonsense that I have been actively choosing to believe in or about myself for YEARS. Some of my deep rooted beliefs are: I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough or fun enough, money defines happiness and success as a human being and I must appear to have it all together, at all times. Ahhhh!!

Thank GOD none of that is actually true!!!!

What are your fear based beliefs? I would encourage you to make a list of your top 5-10 fears. Awareness is the first step to change!!!

I believe it is now my (our) job to actively turn that fear into love, which is by definition, a miracle.

"A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love" - A Course In Miracles

So, first comes the awareness, then comes the choice. Sometimes we are going to have to actively choose to surrender multiple times a day. It is through that DAILY practice of surrender that I cultivate authentic happiness. It is those times when I choose love over fear that I am living according to God's will for me. I do this by writing. I do this by praying. I do this by reading. I do this by meditating.

The amazing news is, we ALWAYS have a choice. In each moment we choose. So don't panic if you've been choosing fear, forgive yourself immediately and ask for help to see things differently. A beautiful tool that I leanred from Gabrielle Bernstein's "May Cause Miracles" is anytime you catch yourself engaging in a fear based thought, say to yourself "I am willing to see things differently, I am willing to see love instead" Instant relief!

The next time I hear my ego trying to tell me I am "too busy" to do the things that make me happy, I am going to also remember Gabrielle Bernstein's genius response to that statement, which is -- "do you have time to feel like shit??"

Thanks, Rebecca, thanks Gabby, thanks A Course In Miracles, and most importantly, thank you God, for bringing these wonderful women and books into my world so that I can choose love today.

What are the things that you LOVE to do that your ego is telling you you're too busy for? Make a list and DO THEM. Choose love. Choose happiness.

"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God" -ACIM

Love, Kylie

xo

There is strength in your unhappiness.

I believe that we are all Divinely guided, every situation, emotion or thought that we encounter on a daily basis is being brought to us by the Creator in order to teach us a lesson.

This weekend has been a journey of self discovery, so much so, that I feel compelled to share about it on my blog. I believe the past few weeks have been preparing me for what was to come, looking back, I see it so clearly. A lot of my girls are going through break ups right now and they have been calling on me for my experience, strength and hope in going through mine. There have been many nights spent talking and reminiscing on the events surrounding the end of my relationship and what I have done to move through it with Grace and dignity. I have caught myself numerous times feeling sadness while talking about my break up, but I immediately dismiss it and reaffirm to myself that I am okay.

SO, on Friday night when I unpexectedly bumped into my ex boyfriend and felt a rush of extreme sadness, I was like "what the fuck?? WHY?" We have seen each other a couple of times since we broke up, and I have been FINE,  that being said, the two times prior to Fridays enounter I was completely prepared for, I knew I was going to see him so I was able to arm myself with every spiritual tool known to man. This past Friday, he popped up out of  nowhere and I was really caught off guard and, like I said, started to experience some major pain. As this is happening, my ego is saying to me "come on you loser, get over it, it's been 10 months, you should not care, you are sooo weak" and my spiritual voice is saying to me "it's okay, you know what to do, just change your thoughts, focus on something positive, stop thinking about him and you can turn this all around" ... as I observed my thoughts, I realized that both of these dominant voices in my head were all wrong, neither thought was what I needed to be telling myself at all!

I am a FIRM believer in positive affirmations and the fact that our thoughts create our reality, and there is 100% always time for affirmations, but what I recognized in this instant was, throughout the duration of my breakup, I had been SO focused on changing my thoughts to positive ones that I was NOT allowing myself to sit with any sort of pain, therefore, I was actually numbing myself out and blocking the feelings I needed to feel. How did I expect that I was "supposed" to be healed after 10 months when I NEVER allowed the pain to surface?

It was a revelation!!

In order to heal, we need to feel. This means we need to GET HONEST with ourselves and stop trying to act like everything is okay. 

So for the remainder of the night on Friday and all day and night on Saturday, I cried and cried... I thought about my ex as a person, I thought about our relationship, I remembered the good times and I became present in the extreme pain that I was in, I became present in the hurt and the sadness and the betrayal that I felt surrounding the end of my relationship. And I just sat with it.

I just sat with it. That's it. And I was SO uncomfortable, there were many moments where I wanted to do ANYTHING to get outside of myself, such as eat junk food, e-mail my ex, text other men for validation that I was okay, exercise all day - just to name a few things.  But instead, I just sat with it. I sat in silence. I became present with myself in my unhappiness. A vital part of healing that I had yet to allow myself to experience.

I am in no way putting myself down for not allowing myself to feel the pain, I did the best that I could with what I had, as I know we ALL do in times of heartache. I am so grateful that God saw fit to put my ex in my life on Friday night as it allowed me to really embrace the pain and not try to change it. Although initially, I was so upset and wondering why I had to see him, now I understand that God knew why. God knew that it was high time that I become present in my unhappiness, I needed this in order to further heal.

Waking up today, on Sunday morning, my world feels like a new place and I feel like a new person. I not only believe that I am being Divinely guided. I have a deep sense of knowing that God is here with me and I am SO grateful.

If you are dealing with any unhappiness today, can you allow yourself to become present with it? We need to feel our pain in order to move through it and heal it. And we are ALL strong enough to do this.

How can you deeply and completely love and accept of yourself today? I learned, through the course of this weekend that it is perfectly okay for me to still be hurt. Matters of the heart take time to heal, and I no longer need to pretend that I am never sad.

The truth is, I am happier than I've ever been in my life today, but that doesn't mean that sadness can't creep in, and instead of shaming myself for that, I choose to embrace it! I know that today, because of my daily spiritual practices, that I am being guided and God does not lead me to any situation that I am not capable of being in.

Here's to finding strength in our unhappiness.

Sending love & light on this beautiful, snowy Sunday.

Love, Kylie

xo

BE your true self!

In the final few days of 2013, I find myself in a place of reflection. I catch myself each day thinking 'on this day last year I was....' (fill in the blank). I am amazed at the changes that have taken place in my life over the last year, all of which came as a direct result of taking the appropriate ACTION to live in alignment with the woman I truly am.

I set the intention last year at this time to move into action in the area of my spiritual practice. I was reading all the spiritual blogs, tons of self help books, and acquiring a wealth of knowledge on spirituality and the topics I was interested in, but I was doing nothing with the information I was learning. I was living from a complete and total place of fear. In fact, I was paralyzed by that fear. Sure, I knew a ton about how to become peaceful and happy (my main tools today are: prayer, meditation, positive affirmations and journaling) I also knew exactly what I needed to do (end my relationship) - but was I doing any of it? No. Way.

It thrills me to report today that I did it! And by 'it' I mean I threw myself into action, I faced my biggest fear (being alone) and started to develop MY spiritual practice (through prayer, meditation, positive affirmations and journaling) and I have grown immensely over the last year as a result. I am so excited to share this experience and to set my intentions for the New Year because I learned first hand that with ACTION, commitment and living in alignment with your true self, change will occur. And it will be for the better.

What this new year represents for me are new opportunities to embrace the woman I ALREADY am. I am already 100% spiritual (and so are you). What we need to do is accept that (surrender) and move through the blocks that are in the way of us accessing that place of complete peace and serenity. I am not planning on making a list of new years resolutions, but rather an action plan for the year ahead. I am going to further commit to discovering ALL of me through my DAILY practices. It is about having that willingness to move through any darkness, move through that fear, make that commitment to yourself and follow through with the appropriate action, no matter what.

"First say to yourself what would you be; and then do what you have to do" -Epictetus

I would take the above noted quote one step further and instead of asking myself what I WOULD be; I will connect with my soul and understand that I already AM that person, I just need to move into that role by taking the appropriate action.

It's a beautiful and comforting feeling to know that within each one of us is a soul and God put us on this earth so we could fulfill our highest potentials.

What are you waiting for?

3 steps to take in the next couple of days are:

1) Get CLEAR on what you want for yourself and write it down. Do as Epictetus says, ask yourself who you want to be (who you really are), also ask yourself how you want to feel. Set the intentions.

2) Come up with an action plan. What steps will you take? What are the things that you can do each day to be more in alignment with your true self? How are you going to achieve your desired results? Remember, the power is within you and this plan is unique to you.

3) FORGIVE yourself IMMEDIATELY if (and when) you take steps backwards, or act in a way that is not in alignment with your highest self. We are human, and everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn (so I would not even call it a "mistake" at all) the most important thing to do when faced with a "mistake" is to forgive, forgive, forgive. It is of absolutely no use to beat yourself up, learn from it, and do better next time. Holding any resentments against ourselves is poison. God forgives us everything, we can do the same.

So, what are your intentions? I would love to hear!!!!

I wish you all nothing but LOVE in the year to come, I hope that you honour yourselves and TAKE ACTION towards being who you were put on this earth to be!!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Love, Kylie

XO

Affirmation for the day/week/month: I am supported!

Stop trying to change what God created.

What makes you happy?

For me, I'm authentically happy when I'm practicing acceptance. It's that simple. Yet I am STILL constantly trying to CHANGE myself in order to be healthier or more spiritual. Nothing is ever good enough. What's up with that??

There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to better yourself, AS LONG as it is to become a more authentic version of exactly who YOU are.

This is where I sometimes get confused.

In this day and age we are absolutely inundated with social media. I am not very techonologically savvy but I do know how to use Facebook and Instagram and I will admit, I love them both. That being said, there is a flip side to that love and that is the constant comparison and feelings of not being good enough that come along with it. I follow a lot of super healthy people, spiritual healers and authors and I LOVE and respect them all, but being human, I can compare. My ego compares my life to what I see on the internet and this is a recipe for disaster.

There was a point in my life where I was waking up at 4 in the morning to complete my list of 10+ things that I "HAD" to do in the morning in order to make myself a successful human being. Eventually when this became way too much for me to handle, I took a few things off the list and then a few more and eventually I stopped doing everything I had on that list all together. I then proceeded to beat myself up for not having a super healthy, super spiritual, "perfect" morning routine.

I have been struggling with the negative self talk and feelings of inadequacy for quite some time now as I've been "off" my "perfect" morning routine for a while, or so I thought. It wasn't until a good friend shared his beautiful experience with me that I realized I DO have a morning routine!

Maybe it doesn't involve doing 10 things before I even step into the shower, but it's MINE. It is simple and relaxing, it is also ever changing. Rigidity doesn't work for me and I need to remember that (as I always try and MAKE it work) Currently, I wake up, drink a glass of water, tell myself I love myself in the mirror, say a prayer from ACIM, shower, make my bed, take my vitamins and eat breakfast. Super NORMAL and simple!!! I don't even meditate in the morning right now because I would rather sleep as much as I can. I admit it. And it's okay because TODAY I am the closest I've ever been to my authentic self and today, THAT is what I need to be in order to be happy. (Note: I DO meditate, it's very important to me, just not first thing)

My struggles with inadequacy and uneasiness come up in many different areas of my life, my morning routine being just one example, I assure you that surrender and unconditional acceptance are actions I practice every single day.

It is essential for me to accept myself exactly as I am and to accept those in my life exactly as they are.

Constantly striving for change leaves me no time to ENJOY the life I have and the person I am becoming.

Letting go and allowing GOD to work His magic is the key.

I vow to STOP trying to change what God created.

How can you accept yourself today?

Do you have a fun morning routine?

I would love to hear about it!!

Kylie

FEEL the fear ... and do it anyway.

Fear.

What a pal. I just love it.

I know we all experience different fears in our lives and sometimes they can be very unmanageable, my goal today is to help you understand that fear really doesn't have to be scary at all.

One of the greatest things I have ever learned is to love fear. I have also discovered that when I love and embrace fear, God/the Universe loves me back and good things start happening!! I now think of my fear as a light, showing me where to go, rather than something that is going to keep me perpetually stuck.

Fear comes up (for me) mostly when I am embarking on some sort of change or entering any sort of uncertainty. It doesn't even have to be a big change, or a major uncertainty. It can be something as simple as leaving work and driving into downtown Toronto to meet up with my sisters. I use this example because I actually observed myself feeling fear when I was heading downtown last week to help my sisters move (and I had to laugh) I also observed myself feeling fear while heading to a friends birthday party this past weekend ...(and again, had to laugh) Obviously my fear around the two above noted situations totally caught my attention, I find it SO INTERESTING to peacefully observe my brain. Being a peaceful observer actually makes me feel giddy. It's super exciting stuff when you have the ability to observe and not place judgment on yourself (And we ALL have this ability!!!)

If I had acted on the fear from the two examples I gave above (a.k.a. listened to my ego) it would have driven me away from loving and amazing experiences for no valid reason. This is why I think it is so vital to start treating fear like a friend, a mean friend (maybe?) but a friend none the less. I used these simple examples to illustrate just how crazy our fears can really be and how my ego tries to ruin everything for me (Although I am absolutely convinced that if I send enough love and awareness to my ego, eventually it won't hold any power over me)

We can feel the fear and do it anyway. It's a choice.

Of course there are fears that are much more difficult to face than the examples I stated above, afterall, it's easy for me to know that both going to help my sisters and attending a party will not be scary experiences. I can trust in advance, in these situations, what I will only KNOW to be a fact in reverse quite easily.

But what if you feel you need to end an unhealthy relationship? or begin a new relationship? or quit a secure job? or change your lifestyle? What if you know you need to come out of the closet in some way, to expose your true self in order to live authentically? These kinds of situations would certainly bring up a lot of fear and it would be harder to trust in advance that the outcome could be better than you may expect it to be. BUT IT CAN BE BETTER and it WILL be better. When we stay in alignment with our HIGHEST self, the outcome is ALWAYS going to be better than you could ever imagine.

You can cultivate that trust by feeling the fear and DOING IT ANYWAY. Everyone has to start somewhere. I gained the power to face my fears simply BY FACING THEM.

It all started with facing the fear of my relationship ending, I thought I would die of a broken heart - literally, and now I have never been happier. If your gut feeling is pulling you in a certain direction but you are too scared to make that move, just pray and TRUST that whatever is on the other side of that fear, although it could initially be painful, is going to be for your greatest GOOD. TRUST THE PROCESS. Feel the fear and PLEASE do it anyway.

I can't think of anything worse than not living the life you were meant to live because you were too scared to move.

The fact that fear arises from our ego mind is something that is very important for me (and you) to remember. If our egos are trying to keep us stuck and they are the ones that produce the fear, why listen to them? Feel it, acknowledge it and say "Thank you, ego, for showing me what I need to do and where I need to go - thank you for helping me learn that my true self is much, much stronger than you"

Whatever it is you choose to say to your ego just make sure you feel the fear and do it anyway. Let's let our God centred, true selves run the show!!!

I read a quote one day that stuck with me from that point on and I don't even know who said it, but it read "God is here, now, guiding us, all we have to do is peacefully follow"

Amen.

Peacefully yours,

Kylie