Love doesn't seek anything.

"Understand that your life is a vessel of perfection and allow it to unfold naturally"
-Wayne Dyer




I started really meditating on the practice of allowing a few months ago and it has altered my state of being in the most profound way. Let me explain, but let me first start out by telling you that I am someone who has always had issues with control. For as long as I can remember, I would try to control and manipulate people, places, things and situations to go my way. This failed, time and time again and would result (in what I see now as) unnecessary suffering.


At the time I didn't understand that MY actions were the direct cause of my suffering, I thought it was because some person, place or thing didn't do / didn't go exactly as I had planned. I was always a victim, and there was always someone or something to blame.




I was introduced to the concept of letting go when I entered into recovery from my substance abuse problems back in 2010, yet at that time I still had no idea how to actually "do it". I could not understand for the life of me how to relinquish control. Intellectually, it made sense, however I was still filled with so much fear and that made it impossible to put this practice into action.




Looking back, I am so grateful for all of the years and all of the pain that I experienced as a result of trying (and failing) to hold on to something or someone, because these experiences have taught me to live in a completely new way today and this is by way of non-attachment and allowing.




This may sound easy, but I assure you, it is not. Simple, yes - easy, no.




It takes a daily commitment of surrendering to God's will and trusting that you are not in charge.




In a world that tells us everyday that "you can make your dreams come true" and to "do whatever it takes to reach your goals", the fact that I'm telling you that YOU are not in charge is probably very confusing. Although you do have a PART in creating your best life possible, it BEGINS with the understanding that God doesn't need you to take control. There is a master plan and it isn't one that you need to create.




You will achieve all that you ever dreamed of and more as soon as you understand and act as if you are the CO-creator of your life, not the creator itself.




This understanding and true knowing gives the gift of peace and happiness every single day.




The key to achieving this peace of mind is allowing your life to unfold with no expectations and no attachments to outcomes.




It's all about surrendered action.




Continuously choosing to act from a place of love and not expecting anything in return. Trusting, with 100% certainty that as long as your actions are in alignment with God, you will be taken care of.




Now, here's the question that I asked myself for YEARS...




HOW do you know whether or not you are acting from a place of love??




Simple.




Love doesn't seek ANYTHING.




So ... if you are doing something with the sole purpose of "getting", you aren't in alignment and you aren't acting from a place of love.




BOOM.




Total revelation.




I need not SEEK or STRIVE for any kind of love from ANYONE or ANYTHING. It is all here, already, and it is in ME to GIVE.




I finally can understand that when I am seeking love from another person, that it is not true, it is of the ego and therefore cannot be trusted to stay.


When I busy myself with giving more love to everyone and everything around me, essentially being of service to all that currently IS, I am naturally allowing the people who are meant to be in my life, to either enter or remain.




When you align yourself with giving love and expecting nothing in return, watch as all of the love in the world finds you. It's really magical.




I will leave you with one of my favourite lessons from A Course In Miracles, and that is, the only thing lacking from any situation, is what you are not giving. Meditate on THAT :)




I hope this blog posts serves you, and I hope it can allow you to surrender a little bit more, and give out a little bit more love today. Trust me when I say, you will receive it back tenfold.




Love always,


Kylie

The rose.

If you've ever really looked at a rose, which I hadn't until yesterday, you'll notice the sheer perfection of it's existence.

The pedals of a rose are perfectly crafted to come together to make the flower itself a masterpiece. Examining the rose has absolutely blown my mind. The thorns on the roses stem are as sharp as knives, and this, I've learned, is to protect the rose from plant-eating animals. What I also can't get over, is how perfectly placed the leaves are on the stem of a rose to cover the thorns, and this, I believe is to protect our hands, as those beautiful leaves sure did protect mine. The point of my analyzing the perfection of a rose is that it reinforces my belief that God thinks of absolutely everything. He creates the most fascinating and the most beautiful things on this earth for us to enjoy. What then, could ever make us believe that WE are not His MOST fascinating and beautiful creation?

Enter fear. What we have learned here.

Fear causes us to do a whole lot of crazy shit, including believe that we are not a perfect reflection of God himself. I know for me, fear is the underlying factor in absolutely all of my defects of character. If I lie, it stems from fear. If I am insecure, fear. If I am judgmental, fear. I could go on … the point is, we are human and we all experience fear and that fear, if allowed to control our lives can cause us to act out in ways that are not in accordance with our true selves (aka Love)

A Course In Miracles teaches me that I have to unlearn everything I have learned here on earth, to remember the truth of my being, which is Love and return to that state.

This, in my experience, takes practice. Daily devotion to Love AND forgiveness.

I stress forgiveness because, like I said, fear causes us to make mistakes. When I do something that I am not proud of, instead of losing my mind and scrambling to do whatever it takes to fix the situation (which is in turn just injecting the situation with MORE FEAR) my work is to PAUSE and immediately thank God for bringing to my attention something that I need to work on. What is actually happening, if I choose to see mistakes through the eyes of Love, is God is giving me an opportunity to correct a deep rooted belief about myself. THEN, once I am calm, I can identify exactly what it is that I need to learn from the situation, practice radical forgiveness for myself and surrender the outcome.

That's it. I need not try and control the situation, I need not try to lie and manipulate my way out. What I need to do is surrender, LOVE and trust the process.

In the bible we are fortunate enough to read some beautiful verses, one of my favourites, which is actually the background on my phone comes from Isaiah, verse 26, line 3.

"You, Lord, give perfect peace
to those who keep their purpose firm
and put their trust in you"

Truer words never spoken.

When I actually sit down to think about all life and the world and what I am meant to be doing here, nothing but Love comes to mind. We have been blessed with a mere 80-100 years on this beautiful planet, if we are lucky. How do you want to spend those days? Keep it simple and trust the process, follow your heart, and if I may quote the lovely Cinderella, have courage and be kind.

Life is too short to take ourselves so seriously. If you've made a mistake, own it, learn from it and move forward. Beating yourself up only creates more stress. And if someone chooses to not be in your life as a result of a mistake you've made, or for any other reason at all, that's their prerogative. Honour yourself by honouring others. If someone is judging you, it is a reflection of them and has absolutely nothing to do with you. Acceptance + love is the answer.

Life doesn't stop for anyone. My experience has been that when I put my trust in God, I am granted the perfect peace that is promised to me, that is promised to us all. Sometimes I get mixed up in fear and that is when things get difficult, however I always have a choice to remember who I am and choose Love.

Here's to living in Love,

Kylie

Letting go is like making a fire.

During my meditation this afternoon, I received a very clear message to burn all of my old journals.

Now I am an avid writer, I write almost daily in my personal journals. Essentially I keep a log of my entire life on paper, so much so that I have a book shelf full of my used journals, they are like my most prized possessions. Proof of all the work I've done on myself over the last 5 years.

I didn't realize they were haunting me until today. You see, I know what I've been through and I remember what I write about. I can tell you which journals outline each months of each year and as mentioned, my collection spans the last 5 years of my life. Anytime I want to take a little trip down memory lane, all I have to do is open up one of my beloved journals and start reading. Now, I don't do this OFTEN but when I do I immediately start to feel depressed, which isn't surprising, given the fact that I am taking myself out of the present moment to go back and visit the past. 

There is absolutely no logical reason to do this.

After going back in time to March of 2014 this afternoon and tripping myself out completely, I gathered everything up and made my way to the backyard to our little fire pit. 

It should be noted that I have never, ever made an actual fire before in my life. 

Which brings me to the point of this blog.

Letting go is much like making a fire.

First of all, I expected it to be easy. Matches in hand, my assumption was that I was going to light one up, throw it on top of my pile of journals and they would all go up in flames. Wrong.

My matches actually did nothing. Thank goodness my downstairs neighbour came home and loaned me his BBQ lighter, which made things a bit easier and I am now fairly certain that no fire would have been started with me and my matches.

Secondly, it takes way longer than you think!! As mentioned above, I thought this would be easy. I assumed that my ceremonial burning of the journals would last approximately 10-15 minutes. Wrong. 1.5 hours later and we are still going. It's amazing how hard it is to get paper to light on fire and more importantly, to STAY on fire. 

Thirdly, it's terrifying. I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't completely panicked when my little fire did bust out some massive flames from time to time. I was freaking out thinking the flames were going to light the tree on fire, so much so that I had a pot of water outside with me, just incase. 

Fourth, it's painful. I got so much smoke in my eyes and I inhaled so much smoke that my eyes, throat and lungs were burning like crazy. So not cool. 

Last but not least, I need help. Not only did Doug from downstairs help me out initially, but I have decided to wait to finish my "letting go" ceremony until Brandon gets home, as I am fairly confident that he will be much better equipped to start a proper fire. I get by with a little help from my friends!!

Isn't it ironic and so, so therapeutic that my experience, although disastrous with making a fire in my backyard is exactly what I needed to recognize that letting go is not easy. Letting go of the past is damn hard! And it takes time. It's friggen scary and painful and you definitely cannot do it all alone.

The good news is though, it can be done. You, my little angel of light, are strong enough. Take this as your sign!

Let. It. Go.

Love to love,

Kylie