Fear.
What a pal. I just love it.
I know we all experience different fears in our lives and sometimes they can be very unmanageable, my goal today is to help you understand that fear really doesn't have to be scary at all.
One of the greatest things I have ever learned is to love fear. I have also discovered that when I love and embrace fear, God/the Universe loves me back and good things start happening!! I now think of my fear as a light, showing me where to go, rather than something that is going to keep me perpetually stuck.
Fear comes up (for me) mostly when I am embarking on some sort of change or entering any sort of uncertainty. It doesn't even have to be a big change, or a major uncertainty. It can be something as simple as leaving work and driving into downtown Toronto to meet up with my sisters. I use this example because I actually observed myself feeling fear when I was heading downtown last week to help my sisters move (and I had to laugh) I also observed myself feeling fear while heading to a friends birthday party this past weekend ...(and again, had to laugh) Obviously my fear around the two above noted situations totally caught my attention, I find it SO INTERESTING to peacefully observe my brain. Being a peaceful observer actually makes me feel giddy. It's super exciting stuff when you have the ability to observe and not place judgment on yourself (And we ALL have this ability!!!)
If I had acted on the fear from the two examples I gave above (a.k.a. listened to my ego) it would have driven me away from loving and amazing experiences for no valid reason. This is why I think it is so vital to start treating fear like a friend, a mean friend (maybe?) but a friend none the less. I used these simple examples to illustrate just how crazy our fears can really be and how my ego tries to ruin everything for me (Although I am absolutely convinced that if I send enough love and awareness to my ego, eventually it won't hold any power over me)
We can feel the fear and do it anyway. It's a choice.
Of course there are fears that are much more difficult to face than the examples I stated above, afterall, it's easy for me to know that both going to help my sisters and attending a party will not be scary experiences. I can trust in advance, in these situations, what I will only KNOW to be a fact in reverse quite easily.
But what if you feel you need to end an unhealthy relationship? or begin a new relationship? or quit a secure job? or change your lifestyle? What if you know you need to come out of the closet in some way, to expose your true self in order to live authentically? These kinds of situations would certainly bring up a lot of fear and it would be harder to trust in advance that the outcome could be better than you may expect it to be. BUT IT CAN BE BETTER and it WILL be better. When we stay in alignment with our HIGHEST self, the outcome is ALWAYS going to be better than you could ever imagine.
You can cultivate that trust by feeling the fear and DOING IT ANYWAY. Everyone has to start somewhere. I gained the power to face my fears simply BY FACING THEM.
It all started with facing the fear of my relationship ending, I thought I would die of a broken heart - literally, and now I have never been happier. If your gut feeling is pulling you in a certain direction but you are too scared to make that move, just pray and TRUST that whatever is on the other side of that fear, although it could initially be painful, is going to be for your greatest GOOD. TRUST THE PROCESS. Feel the fear and PLEASE do it anyway.
I can't think of anything worse than not living the life you were meant to live because you were too scared to move.
The fact that fear arises from our ego mind is something that is very important for me (and you) to remember. If our egos are trying to keep us stuck and they are the ones that produce the fear, why listen to them? Feel it, acknowledge it and say "Thank you, ego, for showing me what I need to do and where I need to go - thank you for helping me learn that my true self is much, much stronger than you"
Whatever it is you choose to say to your ego just make sure you feel the fear and do it anyway. Let's let our God centred, true selves run the show!!!
I read a quote one day that stuck with me from that point on and I don't even know who said it, but it read "God is here, now, guiding us, all we have to do is peacefully follow"
Amen.
Peacefully yours,
Kylie
Tuesday 19 November 2013
Thursday 7 November 2013
I ran a marathon with God.
Running my first marathon was such a spiritual experience for me that I am being called to write about it. Hopefully my experience will benefit you, in one way or another. Here it goes :)
I believe it was in and around April 2013 that one of my best friends, Kristin, and I were out for brunch at Kindfood, discussing our lives, hopes and dreams (as usual) and we started talking about goals. Kristin said that she wanted to do something that she didn't think was possible for her and running a marathon was that something. This sparked my interest, as I have always wanted to run a marathon, but never really thought I could do it either. How could I possibly run for 42.2km straight?? Fast forward to a couple of months later and we were training and signed up for the Scotiabank Waterfront Marathon in Toronto. Unfortunately, Kristin injured her foot and couldn't continue with her training, which was a definite bummer. I have no doubt that if and when the time is right for her to do her first marathon, she will rock it. Kristin is one of the most wonderful people I know. (Love you!)
I had signed up for the marathon training clinic with the Running Room that started on June 20th, 2013. I knew that I needed the support for the long runs, as I could not see myself getting up on a Sunday morning and running 30+km by myself... ever, so that was my main reason for joining. Our group met every Thursday evening, for a quick lesson on all things running and then a group run and again every Sunday for our long run. I won't go into detail around my training experience, but what I will say is that I hit many walls throughout the training. At one point I hated running and never wanted to run again. Sticking with it and moving through a range of emotions made me recognize that every run does not have to be an amazing run. In fact, I don't believe it is possible to ALWAYS have amazing runs, you have to go through the ups and downs in running, as you do in life. It's just a part of the game. Training for a marathon actually taught me a lot about acceptance of exactly where I am, and it taught me a lot about forgiveness too. Instead of beating myself up after a shitty run, I can nurture myself and know that it's a learning experience. I can then do better next time, or the time after that. Training was a challenge in every way, physically, mentally and emotionally and I learned a lot about myself. Many of you who know me, know that I'm in love with God and that I use running as a chance to talk to Him and also as a form of moving meditation, so needless to say running 50+ km/a week... brought me much closer to God. My coach actually started calling me as "eat, pray, love" a nickname that I definitely ADORE.
I need to touch on the week leading up to race day. Running is hard on your body, there is no doubt about that, which is why it is so important to take good care of yourself after your runs, always. Stretching, proper nutrition, relaxation ... all vital to marathon training. Although I tried my best, I didn't stretch enough and my IT bands were so tight as a result. A week before the marathon, my lovey IT band decided it needed to give me a message and on a Saturday run with my sister, at around the 13km mark, I physically could not run anymore due to pain along the side of my left knee. This was exactly 1 week and 1 day before my marathon. Crippling pain that actually caused me to stop running (again, for those of you that know me, you know that I NEVER stop, so something MUST have been very wrong) ... I had to walk the rest of the way back to the car, and I was in a slight panic.
I am 1 week and 1 day out from my first full marathon and I can't run... you have got to be kidding me! Was the only thing that was going through my head.
The following week I saw my chiropractor daily. I bought a brand new pair of running shoes. I rolled out my IT bands as much as possible. I stretched as much as possible. I bought an IT band wrap (thanks to a great recommendation from my friend at work! Thanks Kevin!!) and I tried to take it easy, as much as possible. I did still test myself everyday to see if I could run and each day I found that my pain was still present. I didn't know what to do. Panic started to really sink in the day before the race when I went out for my scheduled 3km and I was in pain the entire time. I pushed through it but Oh. My. God.
The rest of the day on Saturday was spent with my friend Mike, we discussed unconditional acceptance, surrendering to what is, trusting in God's plan and how if my knee is in pain during the run, there is no shame in walking. I am so grateful for his spirituality and that he shares it with me, he has a way of calming me down that I greatly appreciate. I was finding it difficult to wrap my head around potentially not being able to run this race that I had trained so hard for over the last 5 and a half months but the way Mike put it, I realized that I needed to just swallow my pride and acknowledge that that might just have to happen. I needed to let it go. What else could I do? I had done everything that I possibly could, now it was just time to let go and let God.
I had an amazing sleep on Satruday night, a solid 7 hours, which was surprising to me as usually before a long run, I am nervous and can be found tossing and turning all night. I have to thank God for that sleep, as I spent my evening before bed reading from A Course In Miracles and praying. I woke up at 6:00am to have breakfast and get ready to take the train downtown Toronto with Shane and Mumsy. Paige was meeting us at the race as she already lives downtown and Dadsy was coming afterwards with the car, so we could have a comfortable drive home :) I am so grateful for my family. They are so supportive and loving in every way. I forgot to mention that Shane and Paige were both running their first half-marathons on this day as well. It was a family affair!!! My sisters ROCK! (Hi girls!!)
The train to downtown Toronto got us into Union just after 8am. The race was set to start at 8:45 and I am relatively calm. I found this interesting, as it is not the norm for me, even before regular long runs I get nervous and this was race day!!!My leg was taped up by my amazing chiropractor and I was wearing my IT band wrap for good measure as well. I felt a sense of peace within myself, I knew that God was with me and that whatever was meant to happen was going to happen. THIS is what surrender feels like, I remember thinking to myself. I had unconditional loving acceptance for whatever was going to happen, before it had even happened. I had pure trust that everything was going to go EXACTLY as it should.
It took 15 minutes to cross the start line due to the amount of people participating in the race. I started with Shane and we ran the first 16km together. My sister is such a gem, making sure I was okay the whole time, we started off really slow, I am not sure of our exact pace but it was up around 6:20/km ... it felt a bit slow but I knew I had to take it easy, a lady from the Running Company in downtown Oakville had told me the day before that when I get to the 21km mark, it should feel like I have done NOTHING. HAH. I didn't believe that was possible, but I assure you, it was. Miracles happen everyday.
The first 10km flew by. Shane and I were gliding along, not worrying about a thing :) At the 12km mark I started to feel a bit of knee pain, but I remained calm and was confident that it would pass. Shane picked up her pace around 15-16km but I kept the same, slow and steady. I remember thinking when Shane left me that 'Wow, she is almost done and I am nowhere near close'... next thing I knew, I was at the split, one way to finish the half-marathon, the other to continue on for the full, I'd say 80% of the people who were signed up for the race were running the half, so the road opened up completely at the split, which was amazing. I loved this because I felt free, I had space, I hate when there are tons of people around, it isn't ideal for moving meditation. I believe the split was around 19km (or so?) I'm not entierely sure but I know I was running for a bit longer until I saw the 21km mark. At that point, I checked in with my body and I felt stronger than EVER. The "impossible" was possible. I was literally able to say to myself, after running a full 21km, that I had felt like I had done "nothing". I was good to go and ever so grateful that I conserved my energy and ran slower than I needed to the entire first half.
My next goal was to make it to the 25km mark. I like numbers and I like setting mini goals. This became like a game to me. Get to 25 and you've got 17 to go, get to 27 and you've got 15 to go. Get to 30 and you've got 12 to go.. etc, I remember feeling so ecstatic when I was in and around 25-27km that I burst into tears and the guy who was running closest to me asked me if I was okay and I replied "I'm just so happy" .... he didn't get it. I hope he was happy too though.
I am pretty sure (judging from all the pictures I've seen of myself from the run) that I was smiling ear to ear the entire time. I felt the presence of God within me. I was certain that I was not alone, I was with God. I felt so strong and confident. I had significantly picked up my pace the 2nd half and I remember running by people who seemed to be hitting their own personal walls and thinking to myself 'how is it even possible that I feel THIS GOOD? am I actually doing this?' ... I have no idea what the route was, I didn't know where I was at any given time really, except when I was in the Beaches. There were so many people all along the street, cheering, and I remember hearing people say to me "Looking great! Looking STRONG!" and I was like YES!!! It totally reassured me that I was okay. My true self knew that I was MORE than okay, but my pesky ego was still there, trying to tell me that it was not possible that I felt this good after 30km, thank GOD I don't need to listen to that meanie anymore!!!
At the 30km mark I was beyond thrilled. I called my sister to inform her of my progress and told her I was feeling great.
Side note: Yes, I carried my phone with me the entire marathon. I use it as my GPS/tracking device but it came in handy when I felt like talking to someone :) and I can run and talk on the phone quite easily with my earphones :)
After the 30km mark, I don't think I saw another marker for a while, which some people have found hard to believe but I was in my own little world. At this point I was blasting my fav songs and singing along, out loud, having the best time ever!
At the 37km mark we were going around a weird bend and up an annoying tiny hill, it seemed like we were back tracking at this point and I remember feeling, for the FIRST time in the entire race, a little frustrated and ready for the race to be over. I quickly managed to flip that thought around and I told myself that this marathon was in fact going to be over before I knew it, so I better enjoy it while it lasts - that worked, like a charm! I continued running :)
I only had 5km to go and realistically, that was nothing to me at this point. I completely missed the 38km marker, which was a pleasent surprise when I arrived at 39km, expecting 38km... I started tearing up again because I knew that I was on the verge of completing an actual marathon. I hit 40km and it felt like a dream, I called Shane again at this point to inform her that I was 2km away and she told me that her and Dadsy were standing at Adelaide on the left hand side and Paige and Mumsy were at the 500m to go mark on the right hand side. I was so excited to get there and see everyone!!!
I was blasting the song "I love it!" by Icona Pop (I know, I'm 29 going on 13) I love that song though and I don't care, so it was on repeat and I'm singing, again, out loud "I don't care! I love it!"!!! It totally pumped me up and got me through the 40th kilometre. When I hit 41km I really started to reflect on how far I had come, not only for the fact that I had just run 41km (holy shit!) but how far I've come in my life. It was 7 months ago to the day that my relationship ended. I coudn't help but realize that and then I found myself remembering where I was exactly 7 months ago. I was completely heartbroken, in extreme pain, wondering how I was ever going to make it through.... it sounds dramatic but I literally remember thinking 'How am I EVER going to get through this pain? Will I EVER feel okay again?' ... I didn't know, I honestly didn't know. Now, there I was, 1.2km away from finishing A MARATHON, in LOVE with myself more than I ever thought possible, truly the HAPPIEST I have been in YEARS!!! Tears of joy and pure gratitude starting streaming down my face and continued until the end of the run. My running coach, Cari, popped out at me when I had less than 1km to go and ran part of the way in with me, I thanked her so much for all that she had done for me, through tears. I am so grateful for her experience, strength and hope. It was so amazing to see her, shortly after she stopped running with me, I saw my Dad and Shane and I was thrilled!!! Then I saw Paige and I was thrilled. Right after seeing Paige, I saw the sign that said 500m to go and I could not believe my eyes. My Mum was waiting at the Finish Line for me. I didn't see her, because I was in a bubble by that point, but she saw me and took some great pics!
Next thing I knew, I was crossing the finish line.
I started bawling.
I did it!
My official time was 4:19:38. I ran the entire time. I couldn't be happier with the outcome.
This is what I wrote in my journal right after the run:
"Today will go down in history as one of the best, most spiritually connected days of my life. I am so beyond grateful for God and how He allowed me to run my first full marathon. I don't even know how I can put this experience into words. The level of connectedness I felt throughout the entire run was out of this world. It was a miracle. I completely surrender to God's will"
The moral of the story is: With God, ALL things really are possible :)
Love always,
Kylie
I believe it was in and around April 2013 that one of my best friends, Kristin, and I were out for brunch at Kindfood, discussing our lives, hopes and dreams (as usual) and we started talking about goals. Kristin said that she wanted to do something that she didn't think was possible for her and running a marathon was that something. This sparked my interest, as I have always wanted to run a marathon, but never really thought I could do it either. How could I possibly run for 42.2km straight?? Fast forward to a couple of months later and we were training and signed up for the Scotiabank Waterfront Marathon in Toronto. Unfortunately, Kristin injured her foot and couldn't continue with her training, which was a definite bummer. I have no doubt that if and when the time is right for her to do her first marathon, she will rock it. Kristin is one of the most wonderful people I know. (Love you!)
I had signed up for the marathon training clinic with the Running Room that started on June 20th, 2013. I knew that I needed the support for the long runs, as I could not see myself getting up on a Sunday morning and running 30+km by myself... ever, so that was my main reason for joining. Our group met every Thursday evening, for a quick lesson on all things running and then a group run and again every Sunday for our long run. I won't go into detail around my training experience, but what I will say is that I hit many walls throughout the training. At one point I hated running and never wanted to run again. Sticking with it and moving through a range of emotions made me recognize that every run does not have to be an amazing run. In fact, I don't believe it is possible to ALWAYS have amazing runs, you have to go through the ups and downs in running, as you do in life. It's just a part of the game. Training for a marathon actually taught me a lot about acceptance of exactly where I am, and it taught me a lot about forgiveness too. Instead of beating myself up after a shitty run, I can nurture myself and know that it's a learning experience. I can then do better next time, or the time after that. Training was a challenge in every way, physically, mentally and emotionally and I learned a lot about myself. Many of you who know me, know that I'm in love with God and that I use running as a chance to talk to Him and also as a form of moving meditation, so needless to say running 50+ km/a week... brought me much closer to God. My coach actually started calling me as "eat, pray, love" a nickname that I definitely ADORE.
I need to touch on the week leading up to race day. Running is hard on your body, there is no doubt about that, which is why it is so important to take good care of yourself after your runs, always. Stretching, proper nutrition, relaxation ... all vital to marathon training. Although I tried my best, I didn't stretch enough and my IT bands were so tight as a result. A week before the marathon, my lovey IT band decided it needed to give me a message and on a Saturday run with my sister, at around the 13km mark, I physically could not run anymore due to pain along the side of my left knee. This was exactly 1 week and 1 day before my marathon. Crippling pain that actually caused me to stop running (again, for those of you that know me, you know that I NEVER stop, so something MUST have been very wrong) ... I had to walk the rest of the way back to the car, and I was in a slight panic.
I am 1 week and 1 day out from my first full marathon and I can't run... you have got to be kidding me! Was the only thing that was going through my head.
The following week I saw my chiropractor daily. I bought a brand new pair of running shoes. I rolled out my IT bands as much as possible. I stretched as much as possible. I bought an IT band wrap (thanks to a great recommendation from my friend at work! Thanks Kevin!!) and I tried to take it easy, as much as possible. I did still test myself everyday to see if I could run and each day I found that my pain was still present. I didn't know what to do. Panic started to really sink in the day before the race when I went out for my scheduled 3km and I was in pain the entire time. I pushed through it but Oh. My. God.
The rest of the day on Saturday was spent with my friend Mike, we discussed unconditional acceptance, surrendering to what is, trusting in God's plan and how if my knee is in pain during the run, there is no shame in walking. I am so grateful for his spirituality and that he shares it with me, he has a way of calming me down that I greatly appreciate. I was finding it difficult to wrap my head around potentially not being able to run this race that I had trained so hard for over the last 5 and a half months but the way Mike put it, I realized that I needed to just swallow my pride and acknowledge that that might just have to happen. I needed to let it go. What else could I do? I had done everything that I possibly could, now it was just time to let go and let God.
I had an amazing sleep on Satruday night, a solid 7 hours, which was surprising to me as usually before a long run, I am nervous and can be found tossing and turning all night. I have to thank God for that sleep, as I spent my evening before bed reading from A Course In Miracles and praying. I woke up at 6:00am to have breakfast and get ready to take the train downtown Toronto with Shane and Mumsy. Paige was meeting us at the race as she already lives downtown and Dadsy was coming afterwards with the car, so we could have a comfortable drive home :) I am so grateful for my family. They are so supportive and loving in every way. I forgot to mention that Shane and Paige were both running their first half-marathons on this day as well. It was a family affair!!! My sisters ROCK! (Hi girls!!)
The train to downtown Toronto got us into Union just after 8am. The race was set to start at 8:45 and I am relatively calm. I found this interesting, as it is not the norm for me, even before regular long runs I get nervous and this was race day!!!My leg was taped up by my amazing chiropractor and I was wearing my IT band wrap for good measure as well. I felt a sense of peace within myself, I knew that God was with me and that whatever was meant to happen was going to happen. THIS is what surrender feels like, I remember thinking to myself. I had unconditional loving acceptance for whatever was going to happen, before it had even happened. I had pure trust that everything was going to go EXACTLY as it should.
It took 15 minutes to cross the start line due to the amount of people participating in the race. I started with Shane and we ran the first 16km together. My sister is such a gem, making sure I was okay the whole time, we started off really slow, I am not sure of our exact pace but it was up around 6:20/km ... it felt a bit slow but I knew I had to take it easy, a lady from the Running Company in downtown Oakville had told me the day before that when I get to the 21km mark, it should feel like I have done NOTHING. HAH. I didn't believe that was possible, but I assure you, it was. Miracles happen everyday.
The first 10km flew by. Shane and I were gliding along, not worrying about a thing :) At the 12km mark I started to feel a bit of knee pain, but I remained calm and was confident that it would pass. Shane picked up her pace around 15-16km but I kept the same, slow and steady. I remember thinking when Shane left me that 'Wow, she is almost done and I am nowhere near close'... next thing I knew, I was at the split, one way to finish the half-marathon, the other to continue on for the full, I'd say 80% of the people who were signed up for the race were running the half, so the road opened up completely at the split, which was amazing. I loved this because I felt free, I had space, I hate when there are tons of people around, it isn't ideal for moving meditation. I believe the split was around 19km (or so?) I'm not entierely sure but I know I was running for a bit longer until I saw the 21km mark. At that point, I checked in with my body and I felt stronger than EVER. The "impossible" was possible. I was literally able to say to myself, after running a full 21km, that I had felt like I had done "nothing". I was good to go and ever so grateful that I conserved my energy and ran slower than I needed to the entire first half.
My next goal was to make it to the 25km mark. I like numbers and I like setting mini goals. This became like a game to me. Get to 25 and you've got 17 to go, get to 27 and you've got 15 to go. Get to 30 and you've got 12 to go.. etc, I remember feeling so ecstatic when I was in and around 25-27km that I burst into tears and the guy who was running closest to me asked me if I was okay and I replied "I'm just so happy" .... he didn't get it. I hope he was happy too though.
I am pretty sure (judging from all the pictures I've seen of myself from the run) that I was smiling ear to ear the entire time. I felt the presence of God within me. I was certain that I was not alone, I was with God. I felt so strong and confident. I had significantly picked up my pace the 2nd half and I remember running by people who seemed to be hitting their own personal walls and thinking to myself 'how is it even possible that I feel THIS GOOD? am I actually doing this?' ... I have no idea what the route was, I didn't know where I was at any given time really, except when I was in the Beaches. There were so many people all along the street, cheering, and I remember hearing people say to me "Looking great! Looking STRONG!" and I was like YES!!! It totally reassured me that I was okay. My true self knew that I was MORE than okay, but my pesky ego was still there, trying to tell me that it was not possible that I felt this good after 30km, thank GOD I don't need to listen to that meanie anymore!!!
At the 30km mark I was beyond thrilled. I called my sister to inform her of my progress and told her I was feeling great.
Side note: Yes, I carried my phone with me the entire marathon. I use it as my GPS/tracking device but it came in handy when I felt like talking to someone :) and I can run and talk on the phone quite easily with my earphones :)
After the 30km mark, I don't think I saw another marker for a while, which some people have found hard to believe but I was in my own little world. At this point I was blasting my fav songs and singing along, out loud, having the best time ever!
At the 37km mark we were going around a weird bend and up an annoying tiny hill, it seemed like we were back tracking at this point and I remember feeling, for the FIRST time in the entire race, a little frustrated and ready for the race to be over. I quickly managed to flip that thought around and I told myself that this marathon was in fact going to be over before I knew it, so I better enjoy it while it lasts - that worked, like a charm! I continued running :)
I only had 5km to go and realistically, that was nothing to me at this point. I completely missed the 38km marker, which was a pleasent surprise when I arrived at 39km, expecting 38km... I started tearing up again because I knew that I was on the verge of completing an actual marathon. I hit 40km and it felt like a dream, I called Shane again at this point to inform her that I was 2km away and she told me that her and Dadsy were standing at Adelaide on the left hand side and Paige and Mumsy were at the 500m to go mark on the right hand side. I was so excited to get there and see everyone!!!
I was blasting the song "I love it!" by Icona Pop (I know, I'm 29 going on 13) I love that song though and I don't care, so it was on repeat and I'm singing, again, out loud "I don't care! I love it!"!!! It totally pumped me up and got me through the 40th kilometre. When I hit 41km I really started to reflect on how far I had come, not only for the fact that I had just run 41km (holy shit!) but how far I've come in my life. It was 7 months ago to the day that my relationship ended. I coudn't help but realize that and then I found myself remembering where I was exactly 7 months ago. I was completely heartbroken, in extreme pain, wondering how I was ever going to make it through.... it sounds dramatic but I literally remember thinking 'How am I EVER going to get through this pain? Will I EVER feel okay again?' ... I didn't know, I honestly didn't know. Now, there I was, 1.2km away from finishing A MARATHON, in LOVE with myself more than I ever thought possible, truly the HAPPIEST I have been in YEARS!!! Tears of joy and pure gratitude starting streaming down my face and continued until the end of the run. My running coach, Cari, popped out at me when I had less than 1km to go and ran part of the way in with me, I thanked her so much for all that she had done for me, through tears. I am so grateful for her experience, strength and hope. It was so amazing to see her, shortly after she stopped running with me, I saw my Dad and Shane and I was thrilled!!! Then I saw Paige and I was thrilled. Right after seeing Paige, I saw the sign that said 500m to go and I could not believe my eyes. My Mum was waiting at the Finish Line for me. I didn't see her, because I was in a bubble by that point, but she saw me and took some great pics!
Next thing I knew, I was crossing the finish line.
I started bawling.
I did it!
My official time was 4:19:38. I ran the entire time. I couldn't be happier with the outcome.
This is what I wrote in my journal right after the run:
"Today will go down in history as one of the best, most spiritually connected days of my life. I am so beyond grateful for God and how He allowed me to run my first full marathon. I don't even know how I can put this experience into words. The level of connectedness I felt throughout the entire run was out of this world. It was a miracle. I completely surrender to God's will"
The moral of the story is: With God, ALL things really are possible :)
Love always,
Kylie
Wednesday 6 November 2013
Act or accept? Accept AND act.
To act or to accept?
I will be honest, at first thought, I believed this was a choice we needed to make in every situation. After further consideration however, I believe that acceptance and action go hand in hand.
First, I need to have an unconditional acceptance of what is, a daily surrender to God's will, if you will, then I need to act accordingly.
Sounds simple, right?
The complicated part is stepping out of the way. How do I do that? How do I hear God's will? How do I let go? Am I surrendering properly? It all comes down to faith and trust. Ask yourself, how much do you trust your true self? How much faith do you have in God (or whomever you choose to believe in)? Can you ask for guidence, LISTEN and then follow your intuition? Your gut feelings? Your God spot? We all have it in us. Will you trust it?
This was a struggle for me for years, I have always been very intuitive but acting on that inner knowledge was a completely different story. I NEVER took loving action. I denied my true self for YEARS. Plagued by fear. My true self was screaming to be heard but my ego was running the show. This lead me to accept all sorts of bullshit, to deny my dreams and to never think I was good enough. It caused me to be impulsive and to take unloving action. When my ego is in charge of my thoughts and actions, it's almost always aggressive, very unloving and something I regret doing later.
The good news is, it doesn't have to be that way. The moment we start taking LOVING action, the first time we listen to our gut feeling, the moment we start standing up for ourselves, the moment we start following our dreams and telling our egos to shut the fuck up, we start telling ourselves a different story. That we are worth it and that we can do it!! YOU can do ANYTHING you put your mind to when you are in alignment with GOD aka LOVE.
I have wanted to write for years, I have dabbled in blogging here and there but I ALWAYS let it fizzle because my ego said to me 'you'll never amount to anything' and I believed it! I currently want to write a book, but again, I find myself letting my ego (which is the voice of fear in my head) talk me out of it! Part of me moving into the solution and taking loving action is writing this blog right now. I didn't want to but I PROMISED myself I would. My ego is telling me this blog totally sucks but I'm going to publish it anyway!
I am giving myself a beautiful gift right now by WRITING AND PUBLISHING THIS BLOG ANYWAY. I am taking ACTION. I am changing my story. I am telling my ego to step aside.
I believe that being a peaceful observer of our thoughts and feelings is key to a happy life, and then from that place of unconditional acceptance we MUST take LOVING action to respect ourselves and honour God's plan for us.
It has been my experience that I ALWAYS know exactly what to do if I get quiet and listen for guidence from God and the Universe.
Can you tap into your Higher Power today and then take some LOVING action?
Ask God (or whoever/whatever you believe in) to help you set a goal today and then follow through, no matter what. Even if you really don't want to. Let's start writing a different story.
I am thankful for the ability to step into loving action today!
I trust myself!
THANK YOU for reading,
LOVE, Kylie
I will be honest, at first thought, I believed this was a choice we needed to make in every situation. After further consideration however, I believe that acceptance and action go hand in hand.
First, I need to have an unconditional acceptance of what is, a daily surrender to God's will, if you will, then I need to act accordingly.
Sounds simple, right?
The complicated part is stepping out of the way. How do I do that? How do I hear God's will? How do I let go? Am I surrendering properly? It all comes down to faith and trust. Ask yourself, how much do you trust your true self? How much faith do you have in God (or whomever you choose to believe in)? Can you ask for guidence, LISTEN and then follow your intuition? Your gut feelings? Your God spot? We all have it in us. Will you trust it?
This was a struggle for me for years, I have always been very intuitive but acting on that inner knowledge was a completely different story. I NEVER took loving action. I denied my true self for YEARS. Plagued by fear. My true self was screaming to be heard but my ego was running the show. This lead me to accept all sorts of bullshit, to deny my dreams and to never think I was good enough. It caused me to be impulsive and to take unloving action. When my ego is in charge of my thoughts and actions, it's almost always aggressive, very unloving and something I regret doing later.
The good news is, it doesn't have to be that way. The moment we start taking LOVING action, the first time we listen to our gut feeling, the moment we start standing up for ourselves, the moment we start following our dreams and telling our egos to shut the fuck up, we start telling ourselves a different story. That we are worth it and that we can do it!! YOU can do ANYTHING you put your mind to when you are in alignment with GOD aka LOVE.
I have wanted to write for years, I have dabbled in blogging here and there but I ALWAYS let it fizzle because my ego said to me 'you'll never amount to anything' and I believed it! I currently want to write a book, but again, I find myself letting my ego (which is the voice of fear in my head) talk me out of it! Part of me moving into the solution and taking loving action is writing this blog right now. I didn't want to but I PROMISED myself I would. My ego is telling me this blog totally sucks but I'm going to publish it anyway!
I am giving myself a beautiful gift right now by WRITING AND PUBLISHING THIS BLOG ANYWAY. I am taking ACTION. I am changing my story. I am telling my ego to step aside.
I believe that being a peaceful observer of our thoughts and feelings is key to a happy life, and then from that place of unconditional acceptance we MUST take LOVING action to respect ourselves and honour God's plan for us.
It has been my experience that I ALWAYS know exactly what to do if I get quiet and listen for guidence from God and the Universe.
Can you tap into your Higher Power today and then take some LOVING action?
Ask God (or whoever/whatever you believe in) to help you set a goal today and then follow through, no matter what. Even if you really don't want to. Let's start writing a different story.
I am thankful for the ability to step into loving action today!
I trust myself!
THANK YOU for reading,
LOVE, Kylie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)