I am fascinated by our minds, specifically by what A Course In Miracles refers to as the EGO, also known as our fear based thinking. We all experience this fear based thinking, whether it be from time to time or on a regular basis. How often it comes up and how much power it holds over us directly depends on the strength of our spiritual connection, and the strength of our spiritual connection depends on the action we take on a daily basis to nurture and maintain it. Fear based thinking, can be quite uncomfortable but it presents us with the opportunity for major growth. I have learned, that it is absolutely possible to change your thoughts from fear to love. What we need to do is take ACTION.
I am going to get really raw and vulnerable here, which is so uncomfortable for me, but I share this especially for my girls (and guys) who are wondering how to shut that pesky voice of their egos up, how to choose differently, how to live from a place of LOVE. I share this in the hopes that you'll relate and that you may draw some hope from my experience. Please know that if I can learn to act my way into right thinking, we all can.
Here we go:
I like a boy. (side note: I am so embarrassed writing this, already!!! Ahhhh!)
The fact that I like this man is a good thing. It's beautiful. It lets me know that I am ALIVE! No matter what happens, it will be a beautiful experience given to me by God Himself. This is what I know to be true.
However, to my ego, this is a threat. This is a reason to bring up every single fear inside of me and try to convince me that those fears are real. My ego says that I am not good enough. My ego says I am not smart enough. My ego also says that he does not like me back. These fears are irrational and false and I know this, however that does not stop my ego from desperately trying to wreak havoc on my life.
I am grateful for the spiritual work that I have done in my life thus far, so I can CLEARLY determine that these feelings aren't facts. I also recognize that some of you may not be in a spiritually centered place right now, as it took me a while to get here and to become okay with being a peaceful observer of my thoughts. If you're struggling and you believe that your fear based thinking is real, it's important to face those fears and get to the root cause. Write out a list of your fears and be present with them, determine where they come from and know that they cannot hurt you in this moment. When we acknowledge our fears, they no longer have any power over us. After you cultivate the awareness, write about how you can choose to see LOVE instead of fear in these situations. Then once you've written all about your fear and the ways in which you can choose to see love instead, affirming that LOVE really helps to cultivate the belief. Try this affirmation. "I choose to see things differently. I choose to see LOVE instead"
Because my ego decided to go on a rampage as a result of my liking said boy, I was being tempted to A) reach out to OTHER men for validation (EW!) and B) binge eat all the food in my apartment (DOUBLE EW!!).
It pains me to admit that my brain went there, but what eases that pain is KNOWING that my EGO is NOT my TRUE SELF. It really doesn't matter what we think, it matters what we DO!
We are powerless over the thoughts of our ego, but we are not powerless over what we choose to do with them.
So I surrendered, laughed at my ego and went for a walk :)
I am so proud and I CELEBRATE myself today for the above noted actions!!!! I can clearly FEEL the POSITIVE effects of my decisions last night and I FEEL FANTASTIC! I love myself more today as a result :)
It is important to note that although I chose not to act out, for a few minutes I was VERY uncomfortable and I wanted to. The EGO is POWERFUL and that's why our SPIRITUAL PRACTICES need to be even MORE POWERFUL so we can COMBAT that pesky EGO. I maintain MY spiritual practice with DAILY prayer and meditation, an attitude of gratitude, constant surrender (as often as needed), HONEST communication with others, healthy eating, exercise, spiritual readings and writing in my journal, but your spiritual practice can be whatever feels right for you!! Those are just some awesome tools that I choose to use :)
A Course In Miracles states that a miracle is a shift in our perception from FEAR to LOVE. How AMAZING. We can experience miracles DAILY! I am so grateful for the miracles that occur in my life as a result of my actions :)
We ACT our way into RIGHT THINKING. Not the other way around. So, yes, the fear is present, but when I choose to ACT in accordance with LOVE, that LOVE will prevail!
I love you all very much, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I encourage you to take what resonates with you and leave the rest.
Here's to LOVE :)
Love always,
Kylie
