Coffee and gratitude.

I believe that happiness is a choice. However, it is much more complicated than just intellectually choosing to be happy every day, ESPECIALLY during times when you have every reason to be fucking miserable.

That being said, what it boils down to is action.

We have to act our way into right thinking. 

What does that mean, you ask? Let me share my experience :)

If I want to BE happy, I must BE grateful.

TO BE a certain way, I have to DO certain things. 

Gratitude is defined as:

"the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness."

THE READINESS TO SHOW APPRECIATION FOR AND TO RETURN KINDNESS.

YES! That's gold (side note: so happy I looked up the definition of gratitude)

I am a big fan of gratitude lists … however, a gratitude list without action is not going to help you.

Here is my gratitude list for today, coupled with the actions that I have taken to embody the feelings of happiness and genuine gratitude.

I am grateful for my family and friends, so today I made the effort to connect with them. I did not isolate. 

I am grateful for my healthy body, so today I am taking care of my body by nourishing myself with healthy food that heals me. I am drinking lots of water to remain hydrated and I MOVED my body by running and practising yoga. 

I am grateful for my peace of mind, so I prayed and meditated today. I have also been sharing openly and honestly over the last couple of days with the people in my life that I trust. Darkness melts away when it is exposed to the light. 

I am grateful that I can share my experience, strength and hope to (hopefully) inspire others. I am showing my gratitude for my ability to share by writing this blog post.

Today I AM grateful. And it is a direct result of DOING everything in my power to show gratitude for the blessings in my life.

Of course there is pain but that pain does not have to hijack my life. Sometimes it does, and that is okay, we are only human. However, with the proper tools in place, we can remain peaceful through dark times.

What are you grateful for today? and more importantly, how can you SHOW your gratitude?

Do it up!

Thank you for reading this, you are part of my healing. 

Love, Kylie 

Move Beyond You

I read an article on Huffington Post a couple of days ago about a guy named Ben. Ben has lost over 100 pounds by walking around the city (amazing!!) He has now started a movement, that he has tagged #MoveBeyondYou - where he calls all athletes: runners, walkers and bikers to use our physical movement, not only to better ourselves, our bodies and our health but for social change as well. His story inspired me as I wholeheartedly believe in the magic of kindness. I immediately knew this was something I had to take part in.

For Ben's full story, click here: http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/10/06/weight-lost_n_8252336.html

As a result of the above noted, I spent the day walking around our great city handing out sandwiches to anyone who wanted/needed one.

I write this post not for praise or acknowledgment, but to share my experience and hopefully inspire others.

Here are some of the stories of the beautiful people that I was fortunate enough to speak with on my 15km jaunt around the city today.

Sue. Sue was sitting in front of Yonge and Dundas Square with a sign that read "Raised 3 kids on my own, depression and anxiety issues prevent me from working, welfare pays the rent, clean and sober, anything helps" … I actually saw Sue last weekend when I was working at Yonge and Dundas Square but didn't have a chance to talk to her, so I was overjoyed to see her again. Her sign really intrigued me and I wanted to know her story. I found out that Sue has 2 sons and 1 daughter, who are all grown up and live in Toronto. She raised them on her own after leaving her abusive husband and is quite proud of herself (as she should be!) She has been sober for 15 years, another accomplishment that had her beaming with pride. She was very happy to chat with me and told me that some days are better than others on the streets, however, she is just grateful that she finally found an apartment. It took her 3 years to find someone who would actually rent to her. She spent a lot of her life in shelters around the city with her children. I asked Sue what she does when she is really struggling and times get tough, she told me that she reads and also carries her sudoku puzzles with her everywhere she goes, it's her form of meditation. She also takes note of the beauty that is around her at all times. I am so grateful for the beauty that Sue brought into my life today.

William. He was sitting in front of the Eatons Centre, wearing a Toronto Blue Jays jersey and a Toronto Blue Jays hat! He shared with me that he is living at the Salvation Army shelter and is unable to work due to his toes being amputated as a result of diabetes. He was wearing a cast on his foot and told me he couldn't walk around very much. His parents live in Texas and he went to visit them 2 years ago, he misses them a lot. He is from a family of 10 kids and when I asked him if he talks to his brothers and sisters he told me that sometimes he does. He was so happy to chat with me and I with him.

Harry, Bear and Darryl. I was hesitant to go up to these guys at first because they looked kind of rough but when I finally did, I saw how harmless they actually were. They reminded me of the 3 stooges. They were play fighting and joking around with each other sitting in the walkway beside the restaurant JOEY downtown. It seemed like a weird spot for them to be sitting but I found out that they were sitting there so they could watch the Jays game on TV. Sure enough, I looked inside the restaurant and they had a perfect view of the TV. They were drinking beers and happily accepted sandwiches for their lunch, they were all very grateful. They asked me a lot of questions, why I was doing this was the first… I told them that I always received a lot of help when I needed it, and then I shared with them a bit about my struggles with addiction. They were in shock. This opened up a huge conversation about addiction and I ended up spending about 30 minutes with these guys. All 3 of them are amazing men.

Peter. A man who very clearly struggles with mental illness and alcoholism combined. He lives at the Seaton House and has for the past 13 years!! He told me that he worked for Toronto Hydro in the 1970's, he then got injured and has never worked a day since. He shared with me that his fiancé died 2 weeks before their wedding 16 years ago. I asked him if he still missed her and he said he does, I asked him if he ever talked to her up in heaven and he said he prays to her all the time. He told me he was truly happy then, so I asked him if he was happy now … he looked at me straight in the eyes with his big blue eyes and said: I love. 

His message was very clear to me, love is the answer. 

I am forever grateful.

If you want to experience unadulterated joy, do for others without expecting anything in return. 

Until next time …

#MoveBeyondYou