What to do when someone breaks your trust.

I want to write about trust today. Trust can be defined as the; "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc"  I believe that we are all inherently good, honest, reliable and effective which is why I trust everyone (okay, most people) until I am given a reason not to.

When someone breaks your trust, it sucks and it really hurts (obvi) so what can you do to move through the pain without getting caught up in it and allowing it to dictate your mood? I know we have all had our trust broken at one point or another, and I ALSO know that we have all broken someone elses trust at one point or another. So instead of going bat shit crazy and raging on the other person, I thought I would outline the steps that I take in order to keep my side of the street clean and keep the Love in my heart.

First and foremost, forgive them. Immediately (or as soon as humanly possible) For me, this often takes 12-24 hours. Understand that nothing anyone else does is personal against you, EVER. I KNOW that when I am gossiping about somebody else, it is because something is not right within ME. That's it. It has nothing to do with the other person. We are all human, and we are all capable of this behaviour, so remember that the other person is you. We must extend the same forgivness and compassion that we would extend to ourselves / want others to extend to us. Forgivness is your best fucking friend, always.

Seconly, shift your perception from "why did they do this?" to "what are they trying to teach me?" Our job is to determine what the people in our lives are trying to teach us. When I do this, I am far less annoyed and bothered by other peoples actions and imperfections. I trust GOD enough to believe that He is orchestrating each and every situation in my life for my greatest good and with that belief I can move forward with peace in my heart.

Next, get honest with yourself. What is your part in the situation? Remember that you are powerless over people, places and things, the only thing we truly have power over is how we respond to the situations in our lives. Do you need to make something right? Do you need to own up to your actions? If so, do that. Keep the focus on yourself.

And last but certainly not least, set your boundaries. Once you have moved through the first 3 steps, it is time to decide whether or not you want said person/people who betrayed your trust in your life. If the answer is no, it's time to Lovingly detach. Trust that the people who are meant to be in your life will always be there, and sometimes we need to let go of someone to allow someone else in. I would suggest praying and meditating on the situation in order to become very clear, you don't want to make a rash decision because you're upset. Letting people go is one of the hardest things to do, even when the relationship is unhealthy... this is where trusting yourself comes into play and I deepen that trust through prayer and meditation.

Amp up that spiritual practice, lovers ... pray for the ones that are currently making the choice to live in gossip and drama and thank God that it isn't you - just for today.

My favourite lesson of all from A Course In Miracles is one that helps me not to lose my shit on the regular and I'm calling on it and the above noted steps now - "in my defenselessness, my safety lies" Marinate on that.

In my defenselessness, my safety lies.

It's good, eh?

Here's to peace, love & unconditional acceptance.

Love, Kylie

xx

Co-create with God.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

What makes YOU come alive?

Over the last several weeks at church, we have been excamining Brené Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection", this book is amazing, a total must read!! Yesterday the sermon that Rev. Hawkes gave was on cultivating successful work. He said that according to Brown, in order to live a wholehearted life, the work that you do must bring you joy. Now, before you freak out because you hate your job, this doesn't necessarily have to relate to the work that you do in order to pay the bills, although it absolutely can (and I pray that it does) this just means that in some area of your life, you must trust yourself enough to follow your heart and do what makes you happy.

We all have those things. Think about it. What do you absolutely LOVE to do? I believe that God has blessed us all with individual gifts and talents and it is our job to cultivate those talents and to share them with the world, to co-create our lives with God.

For me, it is writing, speaking and sharing my spiritual journey with others in any way that I can. I absolutely love sharing!! However, I am often plagued by self-doubt, thinking that my message isn't "good enough" and that I don't really have anything of value to share. I am so grateful for the sermon yesterday and for Brené Brown's work, because I have finally realized that this is total bullshit! The fear and self-doubt that we all experience comes from people pleasing and perfectionism, so what I need to do is to shift that thinking and remember that first and foremost, I write to bring MYSELF joy. I write because it makes me come alive!! And THEN, if what I share happens to inspire someone else or help someone else, that's an added bonus!!!

I feel excitement as I write this blog post today because I truly feel that this was the revelation that I needed. This shift in perception allows me to stop listening to those limiting beliefs that try and talk me out of sharing my gifts with the world.

I am writing this today to share that no matter what, we are to do what makes us come alive! When we cultivate joy in our lives, whether we touch only ourselves, one person or one million people, we are sharing our joy and love with the world and that WILL have a ripple effect.

Please share your gifts :)

Thank you, God, for the gifts you have given me and for giving me the courage to share from my heart. Please give others the courage to do the same.

Amen.

Love, Kylie