Feelings.

"Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Concious breathing is my anchor"
-Thich Nhat Hanh

Mastin Kipp rocks it in the opening of his new book by saying;

"For Grace to unfurl in your life, you need to shake your foundations so the soil loosens, allowing devastating catastrophes to become wondrous opportunities"

After seeing Mastin lecture on Saturday night, and hearing his emphasis on the importance of feeling our feelings (which I agree with, wholeheartedly) I couldn't help but wonder, how have I been avoiding my feelings?

As human beings, we all have experience in facing painful situations. These situations will vary from person to person, some we will be able to relate to, and others not, but no matter what the situation may be, we all experience the same feelings at one point or another in our lives. Sadness, anger, hurt and hopelessness are just some of those "icky" feelings that we tend to run away from. We mask them with distractions, relationships and our careers, we stuff them down with drugs, alcohol, food or shopping, we do anything to not feel these feelings. In my opinion, this inability to handle life on life's terms is one of the root causes of addiction. 

Addiction can be defined as;

"the continued repetition of behaviour despite adverse consequences".

Of course it is easy to see the adverse consequences related to excessive drug and alcohol use, but remove the substance, whatever it may be (which is actually just the addicted persons solution to their life problem, not the problem itself) and what you are left with is the actual issue. The issue is the inability to handle life on life's terms. It is a lack of confidence in oneself to move through life successfully. It is a lack of love, and that lack of love is really damaging to our souls.

I use the term 'addicted' to describe the escape because we continue to repeat a behaviour (for the sake of this blog: running away) despite the adverse consequences. (Adverse can be defined as "preventing success or development; harmful; unfavourable") By constantly running from our feelings and not facing them, we are preventing our own development.

I do believe that there is a Power greater than ourselves that is guiding our every move, this Power brings us to each situation with purpose. I choose to call this Power, God, but you may refer to it as whatever you like.

My expeirnece has been that when I surrender and allow God to enter my life, I am given the strength and courage I need to take action. (I invite God in through prayer and meditation)

My experience has also been that when I remain open, I learn to identify the patterns and situations that cause me pain and then I have a choice to do things differently.

Magical.

Feelings won't kill you. When we acknowledge them, we allow them to pass through us.

That's the goal, angels. Feel those feelings that you've been running from.

Give yourself the space to allow whatever is meant to come.

Get rid of all your favourite distractions!

You can do it!

What actions are you going to take?

Faith is trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.

PS: Please, PLEASE, make sure to have compassion for yourself on this journey, don't beat yourself up if you discover you've been running away - trust that you've been doing the best that you can with what you have.

As always, take what resonates and leave the rest :)

Love, Kylie

The truth will set you free

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” - John 8:31-32

Amen, Jesus!!

What is this truth that Jesus speaks of? I think it's Love. I think the truth is living in alignment with your spirit, which is made up of love. It's who we are at the core of our being. I live in alignment with my spirit by honouring my authentic self. I ask God/the Universe to guide me and I follow my intuition.   

The truth is not found in taking the easy way out. Following your truth can be very difficult at first. In my experience, God's will starts out hard and gets easy, whereas MY will starts out easy and gets hard.

That's when faith and trust in God's plan comes into play. When we can trust that something of value is being worked out within us, even if we can't see or comprehend the end result, that's faith. Clarity does not come until we have learned the lesson that God wants to teach us. The more and more that I trust God's plan is better than mine, the more I am exercising my faith and it becomes easier to just rely on God, rather than question Him.

One of my favourite quotes from A Course In Miracles is as follows:

"What could you not accept, if you but knew, that all events, past, present and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?"

When I surrender and live in alignment, I am one with God. When I am one with God, I am allowing the truth to set me free.

Short and sweet today because it really is that simple.

I honour my truth, which in turn allows me to honour yours.

With Love,

Kylie

The Universe always has your back!

The key to serenity is trusting that the Universe has your back!

It really doesn't get simpler than that, loves!

Although, sometimes when everything seems to be going "wrong" and sadness sets in, it is pretty hard to accept that it's all part of the plan, right? At least it can be for me.

I pride myself on living a God-centered life. I love prayer, meditation, journaling and positive affirmations and these practices are part of my daily routine. That doesn't mean everything is perfect though and it definitely doesn't mean that I am immune to sadness. When sadness creeps in, it often comes as quite a shock, I really am used to flowing peacefully with the Universe these days - so when a bout of sadness hits me (like it has over the last couple of days) or when I am going through some discomfort, I can get so thrown off and caught up in it - which ultimately makes it worse.

What I have learned over the years (and from my most recent experience) is that sometimes I need to experience discomfort in order to grow and change, and that I need to go through sadness so I can know what authentic happiness feels like. I truly believe in my heart that we are being Divinely Guided at all times, so practicing unconditional acceptance of the range of beautiful emotions we can feel as human beings is the only option for me if I want to maintain peace in my life.

I don't come to these conclusions on my own, and I don't get through hard times on my own. I come to these conclusions and I get through hard times with the beautiful people that God places in my life on a daily basis. A Course In Miracles teaches me that every encounter is a holy encounter, so as long as I am open-minded enough to recieve the gifts that others have to give me and to learn the lessons and to embrace them, then each and every single person that I encounter throughout the day is my teacher.

Amazing!

If I am stuck in my ego mind, as I am when I am living in a place of sadness and pain, I am more often than not judging these beautiful souls that God is strategically placing in my life, and this is not pretty. Last night I had the chance to do things differently, I did the exact opposite of everything my ego (fear) wanted me to do and I was blessed with the ability to see everyone that I encountered through the eyes of Love aka the eyes of God. And I learned. I am so grateful for the lessons I learned!!

Today I feel enlightened. I feel the power of God within me, by choosing to see Love instead of fear, I can continue to change my life.

I am grateful for the journey, and I am grateful that I remain teachable. There's nothing more destructive than a closed-mind.

The key to serenity really is trusting that the Universe has your back. Always. Can we do this? I think we can.

Here's to experiencing serenity even in the darkest places, and trusting that we'll always be brought back to the Light.

Love,

Kylie

It doesn't matter what we think, it matters what we do.

I am fascinated by our minds, specifically by what A Course In Miracles refers to as the EGO, also known as our fear based thinking. We all experience this fear based thinking, whether it be from time to time or on a regular basis. How often it comes up and how much power it holds over us directly depends on the strength of our spiritual connection, and the strength of our spiritual connection depends on the action we take on a daily basis to nurture and maintain it. Fear based thinking, can be quite uncomfortable but it presents us with the opportunity for major growth. I have learned, that it is absolutely possible to change your thoughts from fear to love. What we need to do is take ACTION.

I am going to get really raw and vulnerable here, which is so uncomfortable for me, but I share this especially for my girls (and guys) who are wondering how to shut that pesky voice of their egos up, how to choose differently, how to live from a place of LOVE.  I share this in the hopes that you'll relate and that you may draw some hope from my experience. Please know that if I can learn to act my way into right thinking, we all can.

Here we go:

I like a boy. (side note: I am so embarrassed writing this, already!!! Ahhhh!)

The fact that I like this man is a good thing. It's beautiful. It lets me know that I am ALIVE! No matter what happens, it will be a beautiful experience given to me by God Himself. This is what I know to be true.

However, to my ego, this is a threat. This is a reason to bring up every single fear inside of me and try to convince me that those fears are real.  My ego says that I am not good enough. My ego says I am not smart enough. My ego also says that he does not like me back. These fears are irrational and false and I know this, however that does not stop my ego from desperately trying to wreak havoc on my life. 

I am grateful for the spiritual work that I have done in my life thus far, so I can CLEARLY determine that these feelings aren't facts. I also recognize that some of you may not be in a spiritually centered place right now, as it took me a while to get here and to become okay with being a peaceful observer of my thoughts. If you're struggling and you believe that your fear based thinking is real, it's important to face those fears and get to the root cause. Write out a list of your fears and be present with them, determine where they come from and know that they cannot hurt you in this moment. When we acknowledge our fears, they no longer have any power over us. After you cultivate the awareness, write about how you can choose to see LOVE instead of fear in these situations. Then once you've written all about your fear and the ways in which you can choose to see love instead, affirming that LOVE really helps to cultivate the belief. Try this affirmation. "I choose to see things differently. I choose to see LOVE instead"

Because my ego decided to go on a rampage as a result of my liking said boy, I was being tempted to A) reach out to OTHER men for validation (EW!) and B) binge eat all the food in my apartment (DOUBLE EW!!).

It pains me to admit that my brain went there, but what eases that pain is KNOWING that my EGO is NOT my TRUE SELF.  It really doesn't matter what we think, it matters what we DO!

We are powerless over the thoughts of our ego, but we are not powerless over what we choose to do with them.

So I surrendered, laughed at my ego and went for a walk :)

I am so proud and I CELEBRATE myself today for the above noted actions!!!! I can clearly FEEL the POSITIVE effects of my decisions last night and I FEEL FANTASTIC! I love myself more today as a result :)

It is important to note that although I chose not to act out, for a few minutes I was VERY uncomfortable and I wanted to. The EGO is POWERFUL and that's why our SPIRITUAL PRACTICES need to be even MORE POWERFUL so we can COMBAT that pesky EGO. I maintain MY spiritual practice with DAILY prayer and meditation, an attitude of gratitude, constant surrender (as often as needed), HONEST communication with others, healthy eating, exercise, spiritual readings and writing in my journal, but your spiritual practice can be whatever feels right for you!! Those are just some awesome tools that I choose to use :)

A Course In Miracles states that a miracle is a shift in our perception from FEAR to LOVE. How AMAZING. We can experience miracles DAILY! I am so grateful for the miracles that occur in my life as a result of my actions :)

We ACT our way into RIGHT THINKING. Not the other way around. So, yes, the fear is present, but when I choose to ACT in accordance with LOVE, that LOVE will prevail!

I love you all very much, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I encourage you to take what resonates with you and leave the rest.

Here's to LOVE :)

Love always,

Kylie

How to experience joy

Joy is defined as: "a feeling of great pleasure and happiness"

Isn't that what we all want?? Great pleasure and happiness? Of course!! How do we experience this? And is it possible to live in a perpetual state of joy? Of course!! The issue we must first tackle is the voice of fear inside our heads. That voice that tells us we are not good enough, not smart enough, not experienced enough, etc....The voice of fear in my head tells me that I can't write because I don't have anything NEW to say, that I've said it all before. The truth is living a spiritual life is very simple. There aren't a million and one rules that need to be followed in order to experience the ultimate joy. All we have to do is lovingly be here now. And take action in the direction of our dreams.

I was watching an interview on OWN with Oprah and Deepak Chopra last night, and Deepak stated that the single most valuble lesson that he has learned over his 40+ year spiritual career is to be here now. He then went on to say that the person that is in front of you in this very moment is the most important person in your life and the best way you can plan for your future is to be present in this moment and everything will fall into place.

Amazing!

So, although I already knew that it is of the utmost importance to stay present, hearing it AGAIN, in a slighly different way really helped me.

Then I got to thinking, why do I allow my fear to tell me that I've already shared all I need to share on the topic of living a spiritually fit life? If I can be totally moved by hearing something I've heard a million times, surely my writing may help someone too, whether they've heard it before or not. We are all here to share our unique talents and gifts with the world - to serve others in the way that we know how. We are here to do the things we feel passionate about, and by staying present and grounded in this moment, I am able to hear my intuition speaking to me and by listening to my intuition and taking action, I am able to experience joy.

Life is all about the action. We must take action in the direction of our dreams. I can't just sit around and hope to have a successful spiritual business by doing nothing. So here I am, taking action in this moment towards my dreams and I feel pure bliss!

I am so grateful to always be a happy learner and to me, gratitude is an action word! I am learning how to embrace my imperfections and I am also learning how to embrace the parts of myself that I think are really awesome! By writing about my experience, I am putting my gratitude into action! When I am staying true to myself and expressing my authenticity without fear of being judged - I experience joy and I am able to help others, through helping others I help myself and when I am helping myself, I am more open and receptive to love and to BE LOVED.

Be. Here. Now.

I challenge you today, in whatever you are doing, to be fully present in that task, trust that it is exactly where you're supposed to be and trust that every single person we encounter in our day is part of God's plan for us.

Remembering that allows me to be kind and loving.

If my heart is closed and I am living in the past or the future, I am cutting off my connection to the Divine order of this life.

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart,
I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains,
I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel"

- Maya Angelou

If you catch yourself living in the past or obsessing about the future, stop what you're doing and take 5 DEEP breaths, in through your nose and our through your mouth. You'll be surprised at how effective this is! I know I was. Focusing on the breath will bring you back to the present moment where all is well and you are Love. Some days you may have to practice grounding yourself quite often, do not be discouraged. It's all part of the learning experience and it's worth it - trust me. 

Sending light and love,

Kylie

Too busy?

First of all, I need to thank my friend, Rebecca, for inspiring me to write this blog today. I have been thinking about writing a lot lately - this morning I finally prayed for the willingness, and go figure, God gave me exactly what I needed :) Thank you!!

I often find myself saying that I am too busy to write (and it is obviously very easy for me to buy into that) I am also too busy to read, I am too busy to meditate, I am even too busy to pray....what's interesting is that writing, reading, meditating and praying are all things that I REALLY enjoy doing and all of these things make my life significantly better! Why then, does my mind try and talk me out of doing said things?

One word: EGO.

The ego mind.

I define my 'ego' as the part of my brain that wants to edge God out. It is the part of my brain that is stuck in fear. That fear based thinking comes from what I have learned here on earth, it is all of my deep rooted beliefs, the nonsense that I have been actively choosing to believe in or about myself for YEARS. Some of my deep rooted beliefs are: I am not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough or fun enough, money defines happiness and success as a human being and I must appear to have it all together, at all times. Ahhhh!!

Thank GOD none of that is actually true!!!!

What are your fear based beliefs? I would encourage you to make a list of your top 5-10 fears. Awareness is the first step to change!!!

I believe it is now my (our) job to actively turn that fear into love, which is by definition, a miracle.

"A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love" - A Course In Miracles

So, first comes the awareness, then comes the choice. Sometimes we are going to have to actively choose to surrender multiple times a day. It is through that DAILY practice of surrender that I cultivate authentic happiness. It is those times when I choose love over fear that I am living according to God's will for me. I do this by writing. I do this by praying. I do this by reading. I do this by meditating.

The amazing news is, we ALWAYS have a choice. In each moment we choose. So don't panic if you've been choosing fear, forgive yourself immediately and ask for help to see things differently. A beautiful tool that I leanred from Gabrielle Bernstein's "May Cause Miracles" is anytime you catch yourself engaging in a fear based thought, say to yourself "I am willing to see things differently, I am willing to see love instead" Instant relief!

The next time I hear my ego trying to tell me I am "too busy" to do the things that make me happy, I am going to also remember Gabrielle Bernstein's genius response to that statement, which is -- "do you have time to feel like shit??"

Thanks, Rebecca, thanks Gabby, thanks A Course In Miracles, and most importantly, thank you God, for bringing these wonderful women and books into my world so that I can choose love today.

What are the things that you LOVE to do that your ego is telling you you're too busy for? Make a list and DO THEM. Choose love. Choose happiness.

"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God" -ACIM

Love, Kylie

xo

There is strength in your unhappiness.

I believe that we are all Divinely guided, every situation, emotion or thought that we encounter on a daily basis is being brought to us by the Creator in order to teach us a lesson.

This weekend has been a journey of self discovery, so much so, that I feel compelled to share about it on my blog. I believe the past few weeks have been preparing me for what was to come, looking back, I see it so clearly. A lot of my girls are going through break ups right now and they have been calling on me for my experience, strength and hope in going through mine. There have been many nights spent talking and reminiscing on the events surrounding the end of my relationship and what I have done to move through it with Grace and dignity. I have caught myself numerous times feeling sadness while talking about my break up, but I immediately dismiss it and reaffirm to myself that I am okay.

SO, on Friday night when I unpexectedly bumped into my ex boyfriend and felt a rush of extreme sadness, I was like "what the fuck?? WHY?" We have seen each other a couple of times since we broke up, and I have been FINE,  that being said, the two times prior to Fridays enounter I was completely prepared for, I knew I was going to see him so I was able to arm myself with every spiritual tool known to man. This past Friday, he popped up out of  nowhere and I was really caught off guard and, like I said, started to experience some major pain. As this is happening, my ego is saying to me "come on you loser, get over it, it's been 10 months, you should not care, you are sooo weak" and my spiritual voice is saying to me "it's okay, you know what to do, just change your thoughts, focus on something positive, stop thinking about him and you can turn this all around" ... as I observed my thoughts, I realized that both of these dominant voices in my head were all wrong, neither thought was what I needed to be telling myself at all!

I am a FIRM believer in positive affirmations and the fact that our thoughts create our reality, and there is 100% always time for affirmations, but what I recognized in this instant was, throughout the duration of my breakup, I had been SO focused on changing my thoughts to positive ones that I was NOT allowing myself to sit with any sort of pain, therefore, I was actually numbing myself out and blocking the feelings I needed to feel. How did I expect that I was "supposed" to be healed after 10 months when I NEVER allowed the pain to surface?

It was a revelation!!

In order to heal, we need to feel. This means we need to GET HONEST with ourselves and stop trying to act like everything is okay. 

So for the remainder of the night on Friday and all day and night on Saturday, I cried and cried... I thought about my ex as a person, I thought about our relationship, I remembered the good times and I became present in the extreme pain that I was in, I became present in the hurt and the sadness and the betrayal that I felt surrounding the end of my relationship. And I just sat with it.

I just sat with it. That's it. And I was SO uncomfortable, there were many moments where I wanted to do ANYTHING to get outside of myself, such as eat junk food, e-mail my ex, text other men for validation that I was okay, exercise all day - just to name a few things.  But instead, I just sat with it. I sat in silence. I became present with myself in my unhappiness. A vital part of healing that I had yet to allow myself to experience.

I am in no way putting myself down for not allowing myself to feel the pain, I did the best that I could with what I had, as I know we ALL do in times of heartache. I am so grateful that God saw fit to put my ex in my life on Friday night as it allowed me to really embrace the pain and not try to change it. Although initially, I was so upset and wondering why I had to see him, now I understand that God knew why. God knew that it was high time that I become present in my unhappiness, I needed this in order to further heal.

Waking up today, on Sunday morning, my world feels like a new place and I feel like a new person. I not only believe that I am being Divinely guided. I have a deep sense of knowing that God is here with me and I am SO grateful.

If you are dealing with any unhappiness today, can you allow yourself to become present with it? We need to feel our pain in order to move through it and heal it. And we are ALL strong enough to do this.

How can you deeply and completely love and accept of yourself today? I learned, through the course of this weekend that it is perfectly okay for me to still be hurt. Matters of the heart take time to heal, and I no longer need to pretend that I am never sad.

The truth is, I am happier than I've ever been in my life today, but that doesn't mean that sadness can't creep in, and instead of shaming myself for that, I choose to embrace it! I know that today, because of my daily spiritual practices, that I am being guided and God does not lead me to any situation that I am not capable of being in.

Here's to finding strength in our unhappiness.

Sending love & light on this beautiful, snowy Sunday.

Love, Kylie

xo