Wild

Sitting here in the window of my local coffee shop writing this blog, I realized that it is just one day shy of a month since my beloved Rob left this earth and I am still here. I am sipping my double americano, watching four retired gentlemen catch up over their morning coffee and I find myself experiencing an overwhelming sense of joy in this moment.

Years ago, my life right now would have terrified me. I don't have a full time job, I don't have a lot of money, I lost one of my best friends and I never know what I am going to do with myself on any given day. I have no structure and by the standards of our society, and what I used to believe, this is definitely all wrong, yet I find myself trusting the process entirely, with my whole heart. I am completely content. 

This moment is absolutely all that we have, and it is all that I want. In each moment, we choose happiness or we don't. We choose whether we recognize the beauty that is all around us, in the every day, simple, even meaningless things or we don't. I believe that everything is woven together in a perfectly laid out plan created by God and with that belief, I allow myself to experience joy.

The last couple of months have been crazy, this last one in particular has been the most difficult of my life, losing someone that I love so deeply is something that I would have never chosen for myself, however, it happened, and I am in awe of my ability to handle it. I am learning with each day that passes, that I can bare the unbearable. WE can bare the unbearable. As human beings we are resilient, we have the ability to overcome the most painful situations with ease IF WE ALLOW ourselves to. 

I believe it is in the allowing that we can actually live. It is in the letting go that we can experience life for what it is actually all about; the moment. 

In letting go, we actually take our power back. In loosening the grip we have on people, places and things and our innate need to control, we can give ourselves the room we need to breathe and actually experience the joy that is all around us.

This in no way means that we don't have goals, or plans, or dreams … of course we do, the Bible teaches us that "Faith without works is dead" and I absolutely agree. However, in my humble opinion, we need to shift the focus away from the striving, the controlling and the getting, and put more emphasis on our faith. Because it is with that faith that we can gracefully work hand in hand with God to create the lives that we have always dreamed of and it is ONLY with that faith that I am personally able to survive and find meaning in the suffering. 

Death taught me, without a shadow of a doubt that I have no control over anything other than the way I choose to act. Death is teaching me how to be a better person, how to not take people, places, things and moments for granted. 

Death has taught me to let go, to trust.

Letting go of my career, letting go of my apartment, letting go of my friend… 

Death teaches us how to live.

I was watching the movie 'WILD' yesterday and what Cheryl says at the end of her journey across the Pacific Coast Trail really hit me … 

"How wild it was, to just let it be"

Amen.

How can you practice letting go today?

My knight in shining armour.

There are really no words to describe the pain of losing someone you love.

There is nothing anyone can do or say to make you feel better, because nothing will bring them back.

All you can do is keep breathing and do your best to cultivate some sort of trust in the process.

I am writing this in the hope that I will draw some courage from the voice of my inner guide, and perhaps instil some hope in those that I love as well.

Today I read something very interesting. I can't quote it as I don't have the book in front of me, however I want to try and articulate what I took from the passage and how I intend to apply this in my life moving forward.

The book is entitled "Angel Card Therapy" or something along those lines by Doreen Virtue. I've never read this book, in fact, I don't even know how it made it's way into my apartment but as I was packing today and going through my books, there it was. I do believe this was a Divine intervention as I was REALLY struggling at that moment trying to understand HOW I was going to get through this pain.

The chapter that I flipped to was on deceased loved ones and how to cope with death. I read that our deceased loved ones are up in heaven and they have the potential to be our spirit guides (yay!) it said that they are of perfect physical and emotional well being when they cross over, HOWEVER, the only thing that can hold them back from reaching their highest potential is - us.

What?!!

Doreen Virtue states that our unrelenting grief and mourning over the loss of our loved one can actually block their spiritual growth and that the greatest gift we can give to someone who has passed away is to do whatever it takes to heal OUR hearts.

I will be honest, I am in a place right now where healing seems so far away. I feel like I will feel this intense sadness forever, but I do experience a bit of relief when I think about giving Rob the gift of healing my heart so he can grow to his highest potential in heaven.

It is my firm belief that we must honour our feelings and not run from them or mask them. Losing someone we love requires time, it also requires patience, compassion, care and support from those around us and for ourselves. It is normal to grieve for weeks and months, the process will look different for everyone and that's okay, however we do have to live for the living and try and find joy in our day, even if it's fleeting. The hole in my heart is real and it's raw but I can CHOOSE to use my grief for the greater good … and that is what I believe Rob would want me to do.

I can use this loss to better my life.

I can learn from Rob's experience.

I can use this pain to become kinder to those around me.

I can fill this hole in my heart by extending more love to the people in my life and thus receiving that love in return.

I will not let Rob's death be in vain.

I refuse to let his death be in vain.

Although nothing can bring him back and my life will never be the same, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I have the opportunity to learn and grow from this terrible tragedy.

I can honour Rob every single day with the choices I make.

I can continue to love him by opening my heart when I am so tempted to close it.

On a very personal note, it's ironic that during our relationship here on earth I was often under the impression that I was saving him, when he was actually the one saving me all along.

Fall in love with your journey

I don't even know what to write (I feel like I start a lot of blogs like this) I just promised myself I would write a post today so we'll see what happens. I trust that if I am honest, something will come of it.

I don't write because I am forever telling myself I have nothing to share (you've heard this before) and most recently that because things are really mixed up right now, I don't have a clear message. Whether or not any of that is true, there is one thing that I know for sure and that is: I need to get out of my own way, so here I go ...

As you may or may not know, I am going through a lot lately and to be honest, I am really struggling. The fact that I am struggling is something that the perfectionist in me does not EVER want to admit, however, acceptance is the key to self-love, so here we are. Struggling.  

I am currently taking Heather Waxman's online course called 'Dig Deeper, Fly Higher', which could not have come at a better time (naturally!) It's SO AMAZING!! Shout out to Heather and all the girls :) I love you ladies!! Something I heard in the first module has been saving me on the regular and that is, "when you fall in love with the journey, the destination becomes irrelevant" … I thank God for this course every single day because the 'soul work' and meditations are keeping me grounded in the present moment and allowing me to move through the uncertainty that I am experiencing with Grace and ease. 

The simple fact that I am able to move through fear and uncertainty with Grace and ease blows my mind. It was not long ago that such uncertainty would have completely thrown me off and given me an excuse to sit in self-pity, unable to do anything. I am able to see today that although the struggle is very real, and very painful, it is also my greatest gift. 

Living my life as though each moment is a gift and experiencing the awe and wonder of it all allows me to let go of the resistance that my fear based thinking wants me to live in. By letting go of that resistance and fear I free myself to move into a place of acceptance. It is only when we accept things exactly as they are that we can do anything about them anyway, so acceptance really is the answer to all of my "problems".

Eckhart Tolle defines fear as "a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment" …

Marinate on that. 

Fear is a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment. 

Pure gold.

I don't know about you but I don't want to be in a dysfunctional relationship with this moment, so grounding myself and reminding myself that right here and now all is well is the key. I am then (now) in a place of acceptance and I can choose to be curious, rather than judgmental about what's going on, allowing each moment, each person and each situation to be my teacher.

A Course In Miracles teaches us that every encounter is a Holy encounter. I believe in this with all my heart. God presents me with exactly who and what I need to learn and grow in each moment, my job is to be open-minded enough to learn the lessons.

That's it, that's all.

Stay present. Stay open-minded. Stay willing.

Fall in love with this moment. For this moment is all we really have.

In loving gratitude,

Kylie 

We are called to be the Light.

"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most" - Buddha

I love calling on the above noted wisdom from Buddha, it really simplifies things for me. Each morning, we are given a fresh start, a new day, a clean slate. It is up to us what we are going to do with it. The end. (Ok, not really the end...)

Easter has come and gone and I had a beautiful holiday weekend spent with friends and family, celebrating the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

No matter what you choose to believe in, I believe we can all learn from Jesus' teachings. His words and His actions, to me, are some of the most power examples of unconditional love, forgivness and acceptance.

At church on Sunday morning, my Pastor shared the most beautiful sermon. He said, much like Buddha, that every morning, we are given the opportunity to leave the "tomb" and walk in the Light with Jesus.

And again, if you don't believe in Jesus, you don't have to walk with Him... you can walk in the Light with whomever or whatever you choose :)

This got me thinking ...

When we go to sleep at night, we essentially "die" to that day, we cannot change a single thing that happened, we cannot undo anything we said or did, we must leave yesterday behind. It is truly a blessing and a miracle to wake up again with a fresh start. A blessing and a miracle that can too often be taken for granted.

Here are some ways in which I shift my energy if ever I wake up and I'm tempted to get stuck in negativity. Pick one and start applying it to your morning routine, I would love to hear what happens!!

First and foremost, gratitude is your best friend!! I find it very helpful to Thank God in the morning for waking me up and for allowing me to have a beautiful sleep in my cozy bed. I do this before I even open my eyes in the morning. It immediately sets the tone for my day :)

When I get up and get moving, I start chatting with God right away, just like I would my best friend :) My ego mind/fear based thinking definitely tries to creep in from time to time by telling me that I am tired, that I wish I could go back to sleep, that I don't want to go to work, etc, etc, etc ... whatever the negative chatter is for you, I encourage you to conciously shift those thoughts in the morning to Loving, positive thoughts. Ask God to help you with this if need be. The morning is the most important time to set your intention for the day ... actively changing your thoughts (if they tend to be negative), is key to getting off on the right foot!

Smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you Love yourself, while gazing deeply into your eyes. Seriosuly. Do this. You may feel ridiculous at first (I did!), but stick with it! It will change your life.

Keep smiling :) I am smiling right now. At my computer screen. As I write this. Smile all day!

No matter what happens throughout the day, it is important to remember that you can re-start your day at any moment, if you find that you've gotten irritated and are tempted to stay stuck in that low-vibe energy, you always have a choice to shift. Honour the irritation, learn from it and move on.

I will leave you with this, from the genuis that is Dr. Wayne Dyer;

"Raise yourself to the level of energy where you are the light you seek, where you are the happiness you desire, where you are the love you feel is missing, where you are the unlimited abundance you crave"

And for all of you who think Jesus is super cool, remember those bracelets that were sweeping the nation back in the 90's? W.W.J.D? I think those should make a comback ... when in doubt, just ask yourself.... how would Jesus (or your version of a Higher Power) show up to the situation? And then go do that.

Love & LIGHT,

Kylie

What to do when someone breaks your trust.

I want to write about trust today. Trust can be defined as the; "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc"  I believe that we are all inherently good, honest, reliable and effective which is why I trust everyone (okay, most people) until I am given a reason not to.

When someone breaks your trust, it sucks and it really hurts (obvi) so what can you do to move through the pain without getting caught up in it and allowing it to dictate your mood? I know we have all had our trust broken at one point or another, and I ALSO know that we have all broken someone elses trust at one point or another. So instead of going bat shit crazy and raging on the other person, I thought I would outline the steps that I take in order to keep my side of the street clean and keep the Love in my heart.

First and foremost, forgive them. Immediately (or as soon as humanly possible) For me, this often takes 12-24 hours. Understand that nothing anyone else does is personal against you, EVER. I KNOW that when I am gossiping about somebody else, it is because something is not right within ME. That's it. It has nothing to do with the other person. We are all human, and we are all capable of this behaviour, so remember that the other person is you. We must extend the same forgivness and compassion that we would extend to ourselves / want others to extend to us. Forgivness is your best fucking friend, always.

Seconly, shift your perception from "why did they do this?" to "what are they trying to teach me?" Our job is to determine what the people in our lives are trying to teach us. When I do this, I am far less annoyed and bothered by other peoples actions and imperfections. I trust GOD enough to believe that He is orchestrating each and every situation in my life for my greatest good and with that belief I can move forward with peace in my heart.

Next, get honest with yourself. What is your part in the situation? Remember that you are powerless over people, places and things, the only thing we truly have power over is how we respond to the situations in our lives. Do you need to make something right? Do you need to own up to your actions? If so, do that. Keep the focus on yourself.

And last but certainly not least, set your boundaries. Once you have moved through the first 3 steps, it is time to decide whether or not you want said person/people who betrayed your trust in your life. If the answer is no, it's time to Lovingly detach. Trust that the people who are meant to be in your life will always be there, and sometimes we need to let go of someone to allow someone else in. I would suggest praying and meditating on the situation in order to become very clear, you don't want to make a rash decision because you're upset. Letting people go is one of the hardest things to do, even when the relationship is unhealthy... this is where trusting yourself comes into play and I deepen that trust through prayer and meditation.

Amp up that spiritual practice, lovers ... pray for the ones that are currently making the choice to live in gossip and drama and thank God that it isn't you - just for today.

My favourite lesson of all from A Course In Miracles is one that helps me not to lose my shit on the regular and I'm calling on it and the above noted steps now - "in my defenselessness, my safety lies" Marinate on that.

In my defenselessness, my safety lies.

It's good, eh?

Here's to peace, love & unconditional acceptance.

Love, Kylie

xx

Co-create with God.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

What makes YOU come alive?

Over the last several weeks at church, we have been excamining Brené Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection", this book is amazing, a total must read!! Yesterday the sermon that Rev. Hawkes gave was on cultivating successful work. He said that according to Brown, in order to live a wholehearted life, the work that you do must bring you joy. Now, before you freak out because you hate your job, this doesn't necessarily have to relate to the work that you do in order to pay the bills, although it absolutely can (and I pray that it does) this just means that in some area of your life, you must trust yourself enough to follow your heart and do what makes you happy.

We all have those things. Think about it. What do you absolutely LOVE to do? I believe that God has blessed us all with individual gifts and talents and it is our job to cultivate those talents and to share them with the world, to co-create our lives with God.

For me, it is writing, speaking and sharing my spiritual journey with others in any way that I can. I absolutely love sharing!! However, I am often plagued by self-doubt, thinking that my message isn't "good enough" and that I don't really have anything of value to share. I am so grateful for the sermon yesterday and for Brené Brown's work, because I have finally realized that this is total bullshit! The fear and self-doubt that we all experience comes from people pleasing and perfectionism, so what I need to do is to shift that thinking and remember that first and foremost, I write to bring MYSELF joy. I write because it makes me come alive!! And THEN, if what I share happens to inspire someone else or help someone else, that's an added bonus!!!

I feel excitement as I write this blog post today because I truly feel that this was the revelation that I needed. This shift in perception allows me to stop listening to those limiting beliefs that try and talk me out of sharing my gifts with the world.

I am writing this today to share that no matter what, we are to do what makes us come alive! When we cultivate joy in our lives, whether we touch only ourselves, one person or one million people, we are sharing our joy and love with the world and that WILL have a ripple effect.

Please share your gifts :)

Thank you, God, for the gifts you have given me and for giving me the courage to share from my heart. Please give others the courage to do the same.

Amen.

Love, Kylie

The Spiritual Princess

My blog has a new name!! How much do you love it? Because I love it! I feel as though it is perfect for me!

I have been struggling AGAIN with the thought that I have already posted everything I could possibly post on spirituality in my blog (this happens a lot) I tend to think that it has all been done before, and maybe that's true? but really, who cares? The fact of the matter is, the information does not change. The core spiritual principles that I apply in my life are the same on a daily basis. How I move through life is always generally going to be the same because I have found the tools that work for me. What I post and how I post it, however will always reach someone new and even if it is just one person, my work is worthwhile :)

This morning as I was driving to my job, I was trying really hard to cultivate acceptance for the fact that I have to work and I was also wishing that I could make money doing what I love and what I am passionate about. That's when God started speaking to me!! Wow! Inspiration was flowing through me and what came to me was this:

1) the new name of my blog (amazing!) and
2) that perhaps I could incorporate more of who I am into my blog.

That is not to say that my blog hasn't been authentic, as it 100% has, it's just lacking some of my princessey flare. I am a self-proclaimed princess, and anyone who knows me, knows this to be true. Some people LOVE me for it and some people really don't and that's okay, because I know today that what other people think of me has absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with them :)

So, I'm spicing up my blog from now on, no holding back! I am pretty excited about this as it will allow me to embrace myself more and love myself more for who I truly am and this is the goal, people.

In the past I have been really self-concious of the 'princess' label, I was always worried about what other people thought of me (ew!!) The label of 'spoiled brat' has unfortunately gone hand in hand with my title of princess over the years and at one point that was definitely true. I say that was true because I didn't always live the way I do now, therefore my actions were very mean, judgmental and for lack of a better word, bratty (side note: this was because I didn't love myself, when we judge others, we are really just judging ourselves - this helps me have compassion for myself and for assholes) What I have come to realize is that I can be who I am, I can OWN the label of princess and LOVE IT because my thoughts and actions come from a place of love today. This shift began when I actually started to learn how to authentically love myself. When I love and accept myself, that love and acceptance will translate to every other human being, even if I don't particularly like them. And let's be honest, I definitely do NOT like everyone (and I don't have to! Yay!) I do have to love and respect everyone though and I can handle that.

The lessons that I have learned over the course of my spiritual journey thus far have been life altering. I am in my fifth year of this new life and each day I am learning to love myself more and embrace my truth.

I do believe we are all here on earth with our own unique gifts to give to the world and we can't just sit back and let that go to waste. I vow to myself to give it all I've got and to be of service while showing up as exactly who I am: The Spiritual Princess :)

How can you show up today? How can you honour your TRUE self?

I am so excited to continue to share my journey with you!

Thanks for reading and for being who you are.

Love, Kylie

xx