Monday, 30 March 2015

What to do when someone breaks your trust.

I want to write about trust today. Trust can be defined as the; "belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc"  I believe that we are all inherently good, honest, reliable and effective which is why I trust everyone (okay, most people) until I am given a reason not to.

When someone breaks your trust, it sucks and it really hurts (obvi) so what can you do to move through the pain without getting caught up in it and allowing it to dictate your mood? I know we have all had our trust broken at one point or another, and I ALSO know that we have all broken someone elses trust at one point or another. So instead of going bat shit crazy and raging on the other person, I thought I would outline the steps that I take in order to keep my side of the street clean and keep the Love in my heart.

First and foremost, forgive them. Immediately (or as soon as humanly possible) For me, this often takes 12-24 hours. Understand that nothing anyone else does is personal against you, EVER. I KNOW that when I am gossiping about somebody else, it is because something is not right within ME. That's it. It has nothing to do with the other person. We are all human, and we are all capable of this behaviour, so remember that the other person is you. We must extend the same forgivness and compassion that we would extend to ourselves / want others to extend to us. Forgivness is your best fucking friend, always.

Seconly, shift your perception from "why did they do this?" to "what are they trying to teach me?" Our job is to determine what the people in our lives are trying to teach us. When I do this, I am far less annoyed and bothered by other peoples actions and imperfections. I trust GOD enough to believe that He is orchestrating each and every situation in my life for my greatest good and with that belief I can move forward with peace in my heart.

Next, get honest with yourself. What is your part in the situation? Remember that you are powerless over people, places and things, the only thing we truly have power over is how we respond to the situations in our lives. Do you need to make something right? Do you need to own up to your actions? If so, do that. Keep the focus on yourself.

And last but certainly not least, set your boundaries. Once you have moved through the first 3 steps, it is time to decide whether or not you want said person/people who betrayed your trust in your life. If the answer is no, it's time to Lovingly detach. Trust that the people who are meant to be in your life will always be there, and sometimes we need to let go of someone to allow someone else in. I would suggest praying and meditating on the situation in order to become very clear, you don't want to make a rash decision because you're upset. Letting people go is one of the hardest things to do, even when the relationship is unhealthy... this is where trusting yourself comes into play and I deepen that trust through prayer and meditation.

Amp up that spiritual practice, lovers ... pray for the ones that are currently making the choice to live in gossip and drama and thank God that it isn't you - just for today.

My favourite lesson of all from A Course In Miracles is one that helps me not to lose my shit on the regular and I'm calling on it and the above noted steps now - "in my defenselessness, my safety lies" Marinate on that.

In my defenselessness, my safety lies.

It's good, eh?

Here's to peace, love & unconditional acceptance.

Love, Kylie

xx





Monday, 16 March 2015

Co-create with God.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

What makes YOU come alive?

Over the last several weeks at church, we have been excamining BrenĂ© Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfection", this book is amazing, a total must read!! Yesterday the sermon that Rev. Hawkes gave was on cultivating successful work. He said that according to Brown, in order to live a wholehearted life, the work that you do must bring you joy. Now, before you freak out because you hate your job, this doesn't necessarily have to relate to the work that you do in order to pay the bills, although it absolutely can (and I pray that it does) this just means that in some area of your life, you must trust yourself enough to follow your heart and do what makes you happy.

We all have those things. Think about it. What do you absolutely LOVE to do? I believe that God has blessed us all with individual gifts and talents and it is our job to cultivate those talents and to share them with the world, to co-create our lives with God.

For me, it is writing, speaking and sharing my spiritual journey with others in any way that I can. I absolutely love sharing!! However, I am often plagued by self-doubt, thinking that my message isn't "good enough" and that I don't really have anything of value to share. I am so grateful for the sermon yesterday and for BrenĂ© Brown's work, because I have finally realized that this is total bullshit! The fear and self-doubt that we all experience comes from people pleasing and perfectionism, so what I need to do is to shift that thinking and remember that first and foremost, I write to bring MYSELF joy. I write because it makes me come alive!! And THEN, if what I share happens to inspire someone else or help someone else, that's an added bonus!!!

I feel excitement as I write this blog post today because I truly feel that this was the revelation that I needed. This shift in perception allows me to stop listening to those limiting beliefs that try and talk me out of sharing my gifts with the world.

I am writing this today to share that no matter what, we are to do what makes us come alive! When we cultivate joy in our lives, whether we touch only ourselves, one person or one million people, we are sharing our joy and love with the world and that WILL have a ripple effect.

Please share your gifts :)

Thank you, God, for the gifts you have given me and for giving me the courage to share from my heart. Please give others the courage to do the same.

Amen.

Love, Kylie




Tuesday, 17 February 2015

The Spiritual Princess

My blog has a new name!! How much do you love it? Because I love it! I feel as though it is perfect for me!

I have been struggling AGAIN with the thought that I have already posted everything I could possibly post on spirituality in my blog (this happens a lot) I tend to think that it has all been done before, and maybe that's true? but really, who cares? The fact of the matter is, the information does not change. The core spiritual principles that I apply in my life are the same on a daily basis. How I move through life is always generally going to be the same because I have found the tools that work for me. What I post and how I post it, however will always reach someone new and even if it is just one person, my work is worthwhile :)

This morning as I was driving to my job, I was trying really hard to cultivate acceptance for the fact that I have to work and I was also wishing that I could make money doing what I love and what I am passionate about. That's when God started speaking to me!! Wow! Inspiration was flowing through me and what came to me was this:

1) the new name of my blog (amazing!) and
2) that perhaps I could incorporate more of who I am into my blog.

That is not to say that my blog hasn't been authentic, as it 100% has, it's just lacking some of my princessey flare. I am a self-proclaimed princess, and anyone who knows me, knows this to be true. Some people LOVE me for it and some people really don't and that's okay, because I know today that what other people think of me has absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with them :)

So, I'm spicing up my blog from now on, no holding back! I am pretty excited about this as it will allow me to embrace myself more and love myself more for who I truly am and this is the goal, people.

In the past I have been really self-concious of the 'princess' label, I was always worried about what other people thought of me (ew!!) The label of 'spoiled brat' has unfortunately gone hand in hand with my title of princess over the years and at one point that was definitely true. I say that was true because I didn't always live the way I do now, therefore my actions were very mean, judgmental and for lack of a better word, bratty (side note: this was because I didn't love myself, when we judge others, we are really just judging ourselves - this helps me have compassion for myself and for assholes) What I have come to realize is that I can be who I am, I can OWN the label of princess and LOVE IT because my thoughts and actions come from a place of love today. This shift began when I actually started to learn how to authentically love myself. When I love and accept myself, that love and acceptance will translate to every other human being, even if I don't particularly like them. And let's be honest, I definitely do NOT like everyone (and I don't have to! Yay!) I do have to love and respect everyone though and I can handle that.

The lessons that I have learned over the course of my spiritual journey thus far have been life altering. I am in my fifth year of this new life and each day I am learning to love myself more and embrace my truth.

I do believe we are all here on earth with our own unique gifts to give to the world and we can't just sit back and let that go to waste. I vow to myself to give it all I've got and to be of service while showing up as exactly who I am: The Spiritual Princess :)

How can you show up today? How can you honour your TRUE self?

I am so excited to continue to share my journey with you!

Thanks for reading and for being who you are.

Love, Kylie

xx

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Change your thoughts to change your life.

Lately I have been doing a lot of work around not allowing anything external to disrupt my internal state of well-being. I believe that at the core of our being we are inherently peaceful and loving, and although we stray from who we really are from time to time (or more often than we'd like) we can return to that natural state of peace and love anytime we want. I've been focusing a lot and will continue to focus on on cultivating peace within myself and placing my trust in the power of God, Who I believe, dwells within me.

Our minds are very, very powerful things, the brain is actually the strongest muscle in the body and in order to have it perform at it's highest potential, we need to exercise it like we would any other muscle. Exercising my brain comes in the form of prayer, meditation, positive affirmations and actively changing my thoughts.

When I first started to implement these practices in my life, it was EXHAUSTING!! These concepts were all totally foreign to me. I always thought that I would be happy when I had the hottest handbag, the cutest boyfriend and the best and most exciting social life. Sure, all of those things are great but the problem was that I only ever looked externally for validation. I was always going to be happy "when..." I had NO idea that I had any power, I thought life was just happening to me, so when things didn't go my way, I would be quick to blame other people and I had absolutely no acceptance for what was. This lead me to substance abuse and harming my body and mind through self-destructive thoughts and behaviours. Changing my life did not come easy to me at all, as it was a complete undoing of everything I had ever known for my first 25 years of being on earth!! I literally remember having to shift my perception from fear to love every few seconds at the beginning, as ALL of my thoughts were based in fear. It was such a chore!! (worth it now, but a chore back then) I thank God every day for giving me the desire and the willingness to change. The more I practiced, the more natural it became (like anything else) and now it's practically second nature. As a result, I continue to experience more and more peace in my life. Hard work always pays off!

To begin shifting my perceptions, I was guided to all of my self-help gurus and resources. Marianne Williamson, A Course In Miracles, Gabrielle Bernstein, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Mastin Kipp (to name a few!) - all resources I still use today!! If you aren't familiar with them, get to google immediately - these people and the spiritual principles they teach will change your life for the better!! 

Louise Hay taught me the power of positive affirmations and every morning when I wake up, I go to the mirror, look myself dead in the eyes and say "Kylie, I LOVE you" ... this works wonders for my self-esteem and I strongly suggest adding this 2 second practice into your life, immediately!

I could go on forever and ever about all the amazing gifts I have received from the wisdom of A Couse In Miracles and all my above noted mentors, but I'll let you discover them for yourselves. What they all have in common, though, in the simplest terms, is the belief that WE are responsible for our own lives.

I choose what I feed into. I choose my thoughts. Painful situations happen, yes. Pain is a part of life and I absolutely need to honour that, but if I want to cultivate love, happiness, peace and joy, then I better STOP dwelling on negative shit and the things I cannot control. I need to REMEMBER who I am and KNOW that nothing outside of me has the power to change the way I feel.... unless I let it.

This is my work today and every day. Not allowing people, places or things change my state of being. My happiness actually comes from within today and that is such a wonderful gift (and it's available to us all!!)

Try this: anytime you have a fearful, unloving, yucky thought pop into your mind - say to yourself "I am willing to see things differently - I am willing to see love instead of this" this simple affirmation allows me to start shifting the focus back to the present moment and trust that all is well. Remember, nothing external has the power to alter your internal state of well-being unless you let it.  

Here's to changing your thoughts in order to change your life!!

What practices will you incorporate into your life in order to be more fulfilled?

Please take what resonates from this blog and leave the rest :)

Love, Kylie

xx



Monday, 22 December 2014

How to stay peaceful during the holiday season.

The title of this blog post just popped into my head, on a day when I am not feeling particularly content, which tells me that a) I am relying on my own will and b) God always has a better plan in mind. I am going to write this blog to feel at peace. I know it.

The holiday season can be super triggering for people (myself included) It is packed with social gatherings, food, alcohol, sugar, shopping, you name it, it's around - any sort of stimulus that you can think of is present over the holiday season. The holidays are like life on steroids. I have never been someone who absolutely loves Christmas time, I've tried, but it just isn't authentic for me. To be honest, I find it to be rather exhausting. I am however, still very grateful for the opportunity to give and receive Love.

To remain peaceful around the holidays I believe that first and foremost it is important to remember why you are actually celebrating. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other cultural or religious holiday, what does it mean for you? For me, this time of year it is to celebrate the birth of Jesus, and his teachings of Love, kindness, compassion, faith and trust, just to name a few. It is a time to celebrate Love.

When I ground myself and remember my reasons, I am filled with joy and the desire to share that joy and love with my family and friends. It is particularly beneficial to step up my daily prayer and meditation practice when times are crazy busy and the holiday seasons seems overwhelming. Taking a few silent moments to yourself to connect with your Higher Power during family gatherings, or even if you're feeling lonely at home, will remind you that the Power of Love is within you and your Soul always knows what to do moving forward.

Lesson 48 from 'A Course in Miracles' teaches that 'there is nothing to fear' and tells us, as I stated above, that when fear is present, it is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength. If we can bring ourselves back to this awareness, it allows room for us to acknowledge God and let His strength take the place of our weakness.

When I get to this place of connectivity, I find it much easier to suit up and show up and to do the other things I need to do to ensure that I am taking the best care of myself that I possibly can during this time of year.

Which brings me to my next point, how we treat our bodies.

Gabrielle Bernstein shared a story in her "Finally Full" course about how she was at a party and cupcakes were being passed around, she politely declined and people were very confused as to why she wasn't eating a delicious cupcake. She simply stated that she loves herself too much to eat the cupcake. This really resonated with me. I believe that when we cultivate self-love and nurture our spiritual connection, it is harder and harder to justify eating things that we know are not the best for us. As someone who has struggled with eating issues all my life, I am finally at a place where I understand what it means to love myself too much to ingest food that is not good for my physical or emotional well being (side note: be kind yet unapologetic when people try to convince you to eat something you know you do not want to eat) Nourishing your body with foods that feel right for you during this time of year is a key factor to your peace of mind.

It is also so important to get enough rest. In terms of sleep and downtime. Sleep is a spiritual practice. I cannot stress that enough! When I am over tired (like I am today) it is easy for my brain to take fear and run with it, it is also easier to eat like shit! So it really is essential to make sure you prioritize sleep this holiday season. (and I vow to take my own advice!!)

I think it all boils down to being mindful and loving this holiday season, slow down to enjoy the moments with family and friends and remain present. Remembering who you are and the reason for the celebration. I am so grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with you, and I encourage you to take what resonates from this blog post and leave the rest :)

How are you planning on staying peaceful this holiday season? I would love to hear!!

Sending you all tons of love and light during this special time of year.

Blessings,

Kylie





Friday, 12 December 2014

Allow yourself to be guided.

I don't know about you guys, but I KNOW I am being guided. When I look back on my life, to days ago, weeks ago, months ago, even years ago ... everything has come together the way it was supposed to in order to make me exactly who I am today, in this moment.

Have you ever gone through a break up for example, and wondered why it was happening, only to look back a few months later and have it make perfect sense? I have. And I have similar experiences in all areas of my life, which is why I always say that 'faith is trusting in advance, what will only make sense in reverse'

Over the last couple of weeks I have been doing some intense soul searching and I am not going to lie, I have been REALLY uncomfortable about 80% of the time. This discomfort however, has absolutely no power over me due to the fact that I have complete and utter faith in God's plan for my life. (If the word 'God' trips you out, then feel free to call it the Universe, the Angels, Mother Nature, whatever you feel like, the key to peace is being connected to a 'Higher Power' - that is where the beauty comes from!)

A Course In Miracles says, "if you knew Who walks beside you on this path that you have chosen, fear would be impossible" and I could not agree more. I believe that we all have it in us to tap into this sense of inner knowing, to allow ourselves to be protected and guided and to ultimately be at peace no matter what is going on around us.

So, HOW do we get to this spot? For me, it's through a DAILY spiritual practice. Which is acknowledging and being grateful for God's presense in my life through prayer, listening for His guidance through meditation, discovering MY part through journaling and then taking the appropriate action in relation to what I've learned as a result of said prayer, meditation and journaling.

This is work is very simple but it is not easy, it requires the willingness to remain vigilant to your peace of mind, which can become exhausting!! Trust me, I've been there. There have been times when I resent the fact that I have to pray, meditate and journal everyday, so I stop, and I am QUICKLY reminded why I choose to live a spiritually centred life, it is absolutely in my best interest to nurture my connection with God on a daily basis. The alternative is suffering.

'Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional' - think about that. Why choose suffering?

We all capable of being at peace, we all capable of living from a place of love, love is our birthright. The power is within us, are you willing to take action?

This is my favourite morning prayer:

"God, I surrender this day to you.
Please use me for your Divine purposes.
I ask only that my heart be open to give love, and to recieve love.
May the rest unfold according to Your will"

Amen.

Love, Kylie

Thursday, 4 December 2014

How to stay spiritual when things don't go your way.

Let's be honest, anyone can live from a place of LOVE when things are going great. It doesn't take much effort to flow through life with unconditional acceptance and surrender when everything is going your way. It's when things are less than stellar that we are put to the test. It's at that time when we are called to practice what we preach in terms of our spirituality, to dig deep and figure out a way to move through life, with Grace and dignity and while causing the least amount of harm to ourselves in the process.

I was listening to Pastor Daniel Egan from New York City speak last weekend and he said that God never promised to take away pain, pain is STRUCTURED into life. I love that, it's actually structured into life. That makes me instantly feel better, doesn't it?? The pain that we all experience is the price we pay for this beautiful life. We ALL experience painful situations and we ALL experience feelings that are uncomfortable. Feelings are fickle, selfish and unpredictable, and most importantly, they are not facts. Painful situations and feelings both pass, so the question is, what can we do to move through adversity? How do we stay spiritual when things don't go our way?

My experience tells me that first and foremost, instead of meeting anger and pain with self-destructive thoughts and behaviours (as I have done in the past) it is when I am experiencing these feelings that I am called to LOVE myself MORE. This will look different for us all, but it's of the utmost importance to HONOUR yourself and LOVE yourself through the pain. For me, this means making sure I eat heathfully, exercise daily and get enough sleep. I also surround myself with people who uplift me and who are on a spiritual path that I admire. A helpful tool that I use to remind myself to do this, is to think of myself as a child. If "little Kylie" is hurting, I most certainly would not do anything to contribute to that hurt. I would nurture her and care for her. You get the point.

Secondly, practice deep breathing. As often as you need to. While I am moving through a difficult time in my life, my breath is one of my best friends. Practicing deep breathing allows me to connect to God, it allows me to ground myself back in the present moment, affirm my trust and carry on. I practice deep breathing morning, noon and night, whenever I feel overwhelmed or like I can't go on. Luckily for us, we take breathing with us everywhere we go, so this is a great tool to add to your tool kit (and it really helps!)

Last but certainly not least, stay connected. Staying connected to God and to the people that LOVE and support you through painful times is vital. The cornerstone of my spiritual practice is (obviously) my connection to God. My trust in God is what allows me to carry on, with the belief that everything is happening for my greatest good. God doesn't remove people from our lives, for example, to punish us. He does it to protect us. Staying connected to God through prayer, journaling and meditation is key to peace of mind.

Note: Try not to make any decisions when you're angry. Do what you need to do but don't make decisions from a place of emotion. I often find that I am not thinking clearly when I am irritated, or in any sort of pain, so it is important for me to sit back and allow things to happen, be a peaceful observer of my life and once I am feeling better, I can make an informed decision from a place of LOVE as to where I need to go or what I need to do moving forward.

Tie a knot at the end of the rope and HOLD ON. This too shall pass.

"With God, all things are possible"

Love, Kylie