Wild

Sitting here in the window of my local coffee shop writing this blog, I realized that it is just one day shy of a month since my beloved Rob left this earth and I am still here. I am sipping my double americano, watching four retired gentlemen catch up over their morning coffee and I find myself experiencing an overwhelming sense of joy in this moment.

Years ago, my life right now would have terrified me. I don't have a full time job, I don't have a lot of money, I lost one of my best friends and I never know what I am going to do with myself on any given day. I have no structure and by the standards of our society, and what I used to believe, this is definitely all wrong, yet I find myself trusting the process entirely, with my whole heart. I am completely content. 

This moment is absolutely all that we have, and it is all that I want. In each moment, we choose happiness or we don't. We choose whether we recognize the beauty that is all around us, in the every day, simple, even meaningless things or we don't. I believe that everything is woven together in a perfectly laid out plan created by God and with that belief, I allow myself to experience joy.

The last couple of months have been crazy, this last one in particular has been the most difficult of my life, losing someone that I love so deeply is something that I would have never chosen for myself, however, it happened, and I am in awe of my ability to handle it. I am learning with each day that passes, that I can bare the unbearable. WE can bare the unbearable. As human beings we are resilient, we have the ability to overcome the most painful situations with ease IF WE ALLOW ourselves to. 

I believe it is in the allowing that we can actually live. It is in the letting go that we can experience life for what it is actually all about; the moment. 

In letting go, we actually take our power back. In loosening the grip we have on people, places and things and our innate need to control, we can give ourselves the room we need to breathe and actually experience the joy that is all around us.

This in no way means that we don't have goals, or plans, or dreams … of course we do, the Bible teaches us that "Faith without works is dead" and I absolutely agree. However, in my humble opinion, we need to shift the focus away from the striving, the controlling and the getting, and put more emphasis on our faith. Because it is with that faith that we can gracefully work hand in hand with God to create the lives that we have always dreamed of and it is ONLY with that faith that I am personally able to survive and find meaning in the suffering. 

Death taught me, without a shadow of a doubt that I have no control over anything other than the way I choose to act. Death is teaching me how to be a better person, how to not take people, places, things and moments for granted. 

Death has taught me to let go, to trust.

Letting go of my career, letting go of my apartment, letting go of my friend… 

Death teaches us how to live.

I was watching the movie 'WILD' yesterday and what Cheryl says at the end of her journey across the Pacific Coast Trail really hit me … 

"How wild it was, to just let it be"

Amen.

How can you practice letting go today?